Storm aftermath

I just got back from a clergy conference. On Monday noon I left while the rain was still falling from the hurricane that had slammed past us on its way up to New Jersey to do significant damage. Some of our roads were flooded and parts of the Outer Banks were cut off, crossovers were sent out toward Mauritania and some beach-side houses were undermined  and will soon fall into the ocean-- some of the protecting dunes are gone and these barrier islands will return to the state that nature allows. 

Were we any better than the people of New Jersey that we should have been spared? Some of the television evangelists speak of a God who smites the sinners while protecting the chosen ones. I remember when one such "dis-angelist" took credit for praying hurricane Gloria in 1985 away from Virginia Beach where his ministry is located and sending it to New York. Earlier this year, during the time of the RNC , a Florida pastor bragged that her group's prayers send hurricane Issac away from those God loving Republicans in Tampa   

I think of the Exodus story of Moses and the chariots of Pharaoh in the Red Sea. When all the waters swept back on the Egyptians, Marian, the sister of Moses started to sing a song which was the Canticle for Morning Prayer yesterday morning:

The chariots of Pharoah and his army has he hurled into the sea

the finest of those who bear armor have been drowned in the Red Sea.

The fathomless deep has overwhelmed them; *

they sank into the depths like a stone.

Your right hand, O Lord, is glorious in might; *

your right hand, O Lord, has overthrown the enemy.

Who can be compared with you, O Lord, among the gods? *

who is like you, glorious in holiness, awesome in renown, and worker of wonders?

You stretched forth your right hand; *

the earth swallowed them up.

With your constant love you led the people you redeemed; *

with your might you brought them in safety to your holy dwelling.

You will bring them in and plant them *

on the mount of your possession 

Take that Yul Brynner

 There is an old midrash on this story from the Talmud: The angels wanted to sing and dance for joy when Marian sings her song of joyful revenge on the enemy; the drowning of the Egyptian army,  and God silences them saying: “The work of my hands is being drowned in the sea, and you want to sing songs?”

Jesus reminded us that the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.  I think today it is my task to give thanks for this new day and see what I can do to help the suffering.  Today is a new day. This is a picture I took this morning just after dawn at Camp Trinity..

The storm and open door

One of the difficulties of hurricanes is the fact that it is still windy and raining and it is wet! I am not really able to get some exercise walking and the gym is not open because the roads are bad.  Last night we went to have dinner at some friends and the wind caught the umbrella and turned it inside out- just like a Mack Sennett silent slapstick bit. I have it easy compared to so many others but I am so used to a routine- dare I say a rut - but my weight depends on burning as many calories as I consume  and my work is deeply sedentary - either at my desk writing or studying or sitting talking with people or listening or being in meetings.  And what do I do for fun- I read or watch movies!

 Right now I am looking at the door leading down to the garage. When the wind pressure changes  with a gust of wind from the hurricane the door opens. The door does not latch properly and it got me thinking about how Harold Pinter said he would write a play- starting off with a person in a room and a door.  The play develops- indeed life develops - over the choices made in response to the room and the door and whoever might come through the door

We are free to make all of the choices in our lives- I am not a "victim" of the storm rather I live within it and make choices in response to the storm that metaphorically comes in through the door. Sartre said, “We are alone, with no excuses. That is the idea I shall try to convey when I say that man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet, in other respects is free; because, once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
 
 In this "thrown-ness" in which we find ourselves, I depart from Sartre and say that I am not fully alone for there is the spirit of the divine with, and within, me. I reject the idea that God is a big B F Skinner in the sky, a hideous deity, who forces the "Divine Will" on all events- an idea which passes for Christianity in modern evangelical thought  i.e. the politician who finds God's will in a pregnancy from a rape. The center of this theology is our love of "power" and we create a God in our own image where God is the all powerful image of what we want to be.

I would suggest that the center of our theology is not God as power but God as love. Bad things happen in this world which has nothing to do with God's plan- we in freedom make choices. It is how we respond to the bad things that happen with choices that makes the differences in our lives. In my Christianity the choices come from my prayers for illumination through the spirit which God has given me, and I have chosen to develop, to make the choices which  which help me to seek justice and mercy as the result of my choices and I ask for strength to follow through on those choices. I see the incarnation,cross and resurrection as the core of my faith- God loved and emptied Godself out to become human out of love and out of love redeems all choices we make.

The collect (prayer) for this last Sunday was  reworked by the Rev. Bosco Peters in New Zealand as
Almighty everliving God,
increase within us your gifts of faith, hope, and love,
and make us cherish what you command,
so that we may obtain what you promise;
through Jesus Christ
who is alive with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God now and for ever.
Amen.

I like that reworking because in front of every door in my choices I pray that I will find Christ within me.  There is a song by Jacques Brel which haunts me - My Death  which has as a refrain


But whatever lies behind the door
there is nothing much to do...
angel or devil, I don't care
for in front of that door...
there is you.

The storm comes -- singing in the furnace

Rain for today and the numbers who came church were very down because of the wind and rain. No Sunday school  or nursery-- the 8:30 service had about 15 people and the 9:30 Forum on dealing with Cancer had only a dozen and the 10:30 had almost half the congregation vested in choir, acolyte or clergy robes. The choir led the singing as the wind blew. A lot of people stayed in bed. I had to admit that when it rains and is windy bed seems like a nice choice. When I was preaching I noticed that the people who were there were staring at the big window behind me as the wind ripped the branches back and forth.  In Hebrew the word for wind/breath/spirit is ruach and in Greek pneuma so I could say that they were engrossed with the spirit instead of my blathering and I admit I was mesmerized as I looked at that sight.

The three young chikldren

I was put in mind of the song of the Three young men-Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael or as they are also called  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who when they were tossed into the fiery furnace - confronted with all the power of destruction sang about God -- part of the song goes:
 
⁴² ‘Bless the Lord, all rain and dew;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴³ Bless the Lord, all you winds;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁴ Bless the Lord, fire and heat;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁵ Bless the Lord, winter cold and summer heat;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁶ Bless the Lord, dews and falling snow;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁷ Bless the Lord, nights and days;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁸ Bless the Lord, light and darkness;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁹ Bless the Lord, ice and cold;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁵⁰ Bless the Lord, frosts and snows;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁵¹ Bless the Lord, lightnings and clouds;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.

 We were not hit that much with rain- 2 and a half inch in the last 24 hour and a couple more inches and more to come in the next couple days. I talked with some people who came across the bridges and they were being blown all over the road by the wind.  There has been some over wash on NC 12 roads with the Hatteras area cut off. The ferries have suspended operation and high tide and full moon may influence sound side and beach side flooding. tonight Those parishioners who had sound side flooding last year are biting their nails.

My dog hid underneath the dining room table last night in response to the winds but now is less nervous.There was only some downed branches so far and we are lucky in that the power company buried the power lines. When I woke up early this morning for church I cleared a couple limbs out of the road. A couple streets over they had to cut up some downed trees-- the downside of living in a maritime forest. 

I have a clergy conference in Pine knoll Shores tomorrow about 4 hours down the coast and will make a decision about going tomorrow. So far it hasn't been that much of a fiery furnace experience but it was good to bless the Lord. The song concludes:
⁶⁰ ‘Bless the Lord, all people on earth;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁶¹ Bless the Lord, O Israel;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁶² Bless the Lord, you priests of the Lord;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁶³ Bless the Lord, you servants of the Lord;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁶⁴ Bless the Lord, spirits and souls of the righteous;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁶⁵ Bless the Lord, you who are holy and humble in heart;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.

The coming of a storm

We walked down to the beach as the Tropical Storm is getting closer and the waves are churning. The tides will be higher than usual and the over wash at parts of the Outer Banks threatens to make driving difficult.
 



I was  called down last night to the Hospital to be with the family of a visitor who died yesterday. They had been focused in on packing up in order to avoid the storm but the grandmother was feeling bad. Thursday had been a wonderful day as Grandmother had held the grandchildren on the beach and declared it had been one of the best days of her life. Later that night the symptoms came back and they debated calling the ambulance because a hospital stay might delay the 500+ mile trip home north getting the family out before the storm hit, but they did.  Grandmother did not want to go to the hospital - she had been in poor health for a long time and she died in the emergency room and the call went out to the chaplain to help the family.

I listened and we prayed. How wonderful to die after one of the best days in your life and to be remembered as laughing. Life is so fleeting and walking down to the beach I was struck again that today is the only day we have. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us.

Today is the Lesser Feast for William Temple, Arch-Bishop of Canterbury who died on this date in 1944. The quote that I repeat from him often: "Man alone is born crying, lives complaining,and dies disappointed." This woman who died was not alone and knew she was loved by family and God. Another Temple quote: "When all is done, human life is, at the greatest and the best, but like a forward child, that must be played with and humoured a little to keep it quiet till it falls asleep, and then the care is over."

The Collect (Prayer) for his day is "O God, who by your Holy Spirit give to some the word of wisdom, to others the word of knowledge, and to others the word of faith: We praise your Name for the gifts of grace manifested in your servant William Temple, and we pray that your Church may never be destitute of such gifts; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."

James Keifer relates a story about Temple:

" In 1931, at the end of the Oxford Mission (what is known in many Protestant circles as a Revival Meeting), he led a congregation in the University Church, St Mary the Virgin, in the singing of the hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross." Just before the last stanza, he stopped them and asked them to read the words to themselves. "Now," he said, if you mean them with all your heart, sing them as loud as you can. If you don't mean them at all, keep silent. If you mean them even a little and want to mean them more, sing them very softly." The organ played, and two thousand voices whispered:
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.


For many who participated, it was a never-forgotten experience."

Today with a storm coming -- and when is a storm not coming- we sing in a whisper:
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were an offering far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Reflection on "Bar'chu et Adonai ham'vorach."

A Sermon for XXII Pentecost (Proper 25)                    All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, NC  October 28, 2012                                                    Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Job 42:1-6, 10-17       Psalm 34:1-8     Hebrews 7:23-28         Mark 10:46-52

From the Book of Job: “Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”

Last week, instead of being here, I was in New Jersey to attend the Bat Mitzvah of the young daughter of friends, and much of the services were in Hebrew.  Except for a couple of words, I don’t know Hebrew.

Reader (you):  Bar'chu et Adonai ham'vorach.
Congregation answers:  Baruch Adonai ham'vorach l'olam va-ed.
Reader repeats:  Baruch Adonai ham'vorach l'olam va-ed.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher bachar banu mikol haamim,
v'natan lanu et Torato. Baruch atah, Adonai, notein haTorah.
Bless Adonai who is blessed.
Blessed is Adonai who is blessed now and forever.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has chosen us from
among the peoples, and given us the Torah. Blessed are You, Adonai, who gives the Torah.

I said the words, I wore a Yarmulke, and by the end of the Shabbat and Bat Mitzvah, I was able to bluff my way through the responses. I was aware that, as much as I wanted to fit in for my friends’ sake, I was only getting the surface of the service. I wondered if Jesus had gone through a Bar Mitzvah service, but he probably did not since there exists little evidence of the service before the Middle Ages. I think it developed as a service to help the children claim the Torah as a basis of life, internalizing it so that they grow into adulthood as a “living” Torah. The service was not the beginning of the process, but the acknowledgement of what had been going on for years as the community gathered together on a daily basis, as a family gathered for evening prayers, for the Friday night Shabbat service, and as a community in the synagogue. 

I was a guest for the service, but in essence, a voyeur looking in from the outside for my own pleasure. In order for me to really be an integral part of the community, I would need to make a full commitment to incorporate my past, investing my talents for the benefit of the community, and begin again to learn from the community of faith by following not just what they said during the service but what they do as well on a daily basis. However, I saw myself as just passing through, and I was comfortable where I was and did not leave my place of comfort to make the decision to commit.

My friend’s daughter, Micah, was making the commitment. She was moving out of her comfort zone and was upping her commitment of talents and time. She had learned Hebrew and sang the passages from Torah, explained what they meant to her, and shared what she was doing to make the world a better place. She had been named by her parents “Micah” in honor of the prophet, who asked what God requires, (and here I am using Eugene Peterson’s The Message translation):

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
and don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously.  

Here in this service Micah was committing herself to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with her God. The highpoint was when the assistant Rabbi took her to the tabernacle where the Torah scrolls were kept and talked with her without any of us hearing and then placed her hands on Micah’s head and sang out the blessing. I think she was reminding Micah that she was now part of the tradition of keeping the Torah alive for the world in how she intentionally lived her life. She can no longer go back to being a child, and she was moving into a new stage of the hard work of following her namesake.

Which brings us to the story of Bartimaeus in the Gospel reading for today. He is a blind man who lives by begging, and he hears that Jesus has been to Jericho and is now leaving to go to Jerusalem. Matthew and Luke tell a similar story, but the way that Mark tells the story is different. First of all, Mark remembers the name of the blind beggar, Bartimaeus, which means son of Timaeus, which can be translated as “Son of the Unclean”. This is a man whose affliction was seen by the people as an outward and visible sign of the sins of his father. All of his life he was seen as a person whom God was punishing. He calls out asking for mercy, that which he has not known all of his life up to this point, becoming like Job - “uttering what he did not understand, things too wonderful for him, which he did not know.” The crowd yells at him to shut up and accept his lot as a child of sin.

Jesus hears him and tells him to come forward. This is different from Matthew who remembers the beggars staying where they were, and Luke who remembers the unnamed beggar being escorted up to Jesus. Mark remembers this blind “child of sin” throwing off his cloak, which would be his only covering, and taking steps into the dark, a leap of faith without protection, for if he is not cured of blindness, there would be no way he would ever find his cloak again. He opens himself up to danger, leaves behind what he knows, and moves into what he does not fully understand. His steps into the dark are the beginnings of the road to commitment. 

In the New Testament Jesus uses blindness as a metaphor for not seeing the Kingdom of God right in front of them, echoing the prophet Jeremiah:  “Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not.” (5:21). The crowd, which has eyes to see, does not see the Kingdom that Jesus proclaims, whereas the blind man without eyes sees the Kingdom and takes God seriously, putting his trust in that which his eyes cannot see but which his faith illumines. 

It is all about making a commitment. Each day I need to make a commitment so that I “utter what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know” and move into the leap of faith, asking for healing of my own blindness so I can faithfully follow Jesus and ‘do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.”  How about you?

  

Dosso dreams

Portrait of a Gentleman  by Dosso Dossi 16th century Ferrarese artist
 

On Sunday spent 6 hours in the Phildephia Museum of Art and did not see it all and spent 20 minutes of that time in front of this picture. I was unfamiliar with the artist and the room was ill-lit but the division between the world of dark and light was striking. The museum label said:

"The identity of this gentleman is not known, but the picture suggests that his interests included science and the observation of natural phenomena such as unusual weather. He looks at an armillary sphere, an astronomer's instrument for mapping the heavens (barely visible at the edge of the painting), and points to a maze, which symbolizes the course of life on earth. In the background is a stormy landscape in which a bird, smoldering because it has been struck by lightning, lies aback a donkey. This odd scene may record a curious incident the gentleman had observed, but more probably has symbolic meaning that has yet to be explained."

The problem is that the young man is not pointing to a maze but to a labyrinth. The difference  is that a maze has many false tuns whereas a labyrinth is only one path- the way in is the way out. The labyrinth is an ancient symbol of walking intentionally into the center of one's being, finding strength and then walking out to deal with the world while the maze is a mass of confusion needing to be solved.  Christians appropriated the labyrinth walk as part of the floor of some of their cathedrals. All Saints has a labyrinth on its grounds which is open for all for meditation.

The label sees the man trying to find meaning in the confusion of nature. However I saw the pointing to lighted side of his life as his trying to balance his life with a spiritual quest. I saw the lighted half as shedding light on a dream he had of the fear of the once powerful flying stallion, Pegasus, (Dosso had a fondness of Greek mythology) turning into a burned out earth bound beast of burden in a barren landscape in the later half of life while pointing to the prayerful labyrinth as a way to find God's path for himself.

At least that is what I saw but that would be my interpretation if that were my dream What do you see?

Walking humbly

It happened again. I did not win the Lottery. I did not get a call from Hollywood begging me to star in the definitive screen tale of Hemingway. The ArchBishop of Canterbury search committee did not contact me about taking the job.

So I woke up as who I am and having to face the world and myself. I took Yoda for a walk and the clouds covered the sky so I did not have an opportunity to see another meteor as I had earlier in the week-- no portents from Heaven!

I started singing the old Janis Joplin song. I had been meditating on the Gospel passage for this week about James and John asking for glory. It resonates in my shadow side of wanting glory for myself and wanting God to reward me because I am so deserving- or cute or whatever reason'.

Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.
Oh lord won't you buy me a color TV.
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until 3.
So oh lord won't you buy me a color TV.
Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town.
I'm counting on you lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round.
Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town.

Maybe not quite so -- but close

All I have today is the knowledge that each day matters and it is not all about me. Pat and I leave today to go to New Jersey- someone will be staying at the house to take care of Yoda - but we are going to attend a young friend's Bat Mitzvah. I will not be taking a part in the service except to give thanks to God that this young woman is claiming her place in her community as a daughter of the commandment continuing her given task of being a living Torah for the world and herself.

One of the lessons from Morning Prayer for today is from Ecclus. 1: 26 " If you desire wisdom, keep the commandments, and the Lord will lavish her upon you. 27 For the awe of the Lord is wisdom and discipline, fidelity and humility are God's delight."

Today my prayer is to accept my vainglory as part of my shadow and be able to turn it over to God to use it for wisdom when I stop wanting awe for myself and start having awe for God - the same God that loves me also loves this young Jewish girl and loves an atheist just as much.

Sa I was finishing writing this I started sing another song as my prayer:
Humbly I adore thee, Verity unseen,
who thy glory hiddest 'neath these shadows mean;
low, to thee surrendered, my whole heart is bowed,
tranced as it beholds thee, shrined within the cloud.

question #1

Parson Tom’s Tomes

Question: “Why do you write your sermons that you deliver? My friend has a pastor who never uses notes and she says he is wonderful in proclaiming the Gospel and says he trusts the Holy Spirit. He gave her a quote from Luke 21:

^12-15 “But before any of this happens, they’ll arrest you, hunt you down, and drag you to court and jail. It will go from bad to worse, dog-eat-dog, everyone at your throat because you carry my name. You’ll end up on the witness stand, called to testify. Make up your mind right now not to worry about it. I’ll give you the words and wisdom that will reduce all your accusers to stammers and stutters. (The Message)

Do you not trust the Holy Spirit to guide you?”

In my dreams

Response: I trust the Holy Spirit but I do not fully trust myself. Luke remembers Jesus saying this in response to the anxieties of the community of a time of persecution. Whenever I go to the lectern to speak I do not feel as if I am being dragged there against my will to defend myself. I am responding to an opportunity to come before a congregation and share my struggle in faith with fellow strugglers. A Sermon is not a trial where I confound my accusers but it is hard work of finding words of comfort and strength in difficult times for people for whom I have a responsibility.

Writing sermons are not about writing down my thoughts for dissemination to the world at large but it is about re-writing, editing and more re-writing so what I have to say is so focused that listeners can hear me, otherwise they would go on forever. My own mind comes up with lots of things to say about scripture but I have to be aware of the context of life in the community in which I speak. I cannot just deliver chronic undifferentiated ramblings and aim it like a shotgun hoping that some of the pellets will hit the target. I have to pray about what is happening right here and right now with these people in this place and this time. I cannot go back into the barrel to pick up an old sermon and give you someone’s left overs.

I am also aware of how much time the average American can pay attention- usually 12 minutes the maximum time between commercials on television. If I go beyond that time I start to lose attention span unless it is “absolutely brilliant” an appellation my ego wants to bestow on all my products but the practice of letting the sermon lay on the desk for two days, so I can see it anew soon disabuses me.  I try to limit the sermon to one theme, one sentence so that can be remembered after the mechanics of the sermon fade from memory.

If you have any questions you wish me to address in this space, please do so.

Teresa of Avila

Today is the Feast of Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)  who led a reform of the Carmelite Order in Spain. One of the problems of Convents were that were seen as a place to shuffle off unmarried female relatives but the houses tended to be places where rich unmarried women were served by poor unmarried women in a life of ease and privilege, a sort of harem for Jesus for the mildly pious. Teresa led a reform movement where life was more structured and embraced poverty and contemplative prayers .

 Her guide to prayer: was the Interior Castle  where she urges us to take quiet time to be with the friend Jesus who loves us. The deepest level of prayer is when one completely loses their own body and becomes united with Christ in ecstatic state with Christ's suffering. She entered into visions with these prayers states and of one she wrote of an encounter with an angel of God::"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it."

I remember standing in front of this statue in Rome and being slightly embarrassed to see how Bernini had captured that intimate moment. Part of me wanted to laugh at what on the surface seems religious porn and the Freudian in me went immediately into high gear unmasking the sexual frustration as a way to distance myself into my mind from the moment. My embarrassment had to do with my own failures in going deeper into prayer as I feared being vulnerable to God's love; I only wanted to earn God's respect and forgiveness and keep God at arms length. I wanted to be safe and yet the life with Christ is not safe and we are not in control. 

The Gospel for this coming week begins with James and John asking for places of honor, because they did not know what they were saying. Jesus reminds them that they are to be servants not rules and to be with Christ means to be vulnerable to the pain of the world and enter into it to being the healing union with Christ. I will not preach this week since I well be attending a Bat Mitzvah for a young friend in New Jersey. She is claiming her heritage as a Daughter of the Commandment and will go up to the Bima to read a portion of scripture. She is accepting her opportunity as an adult to love God and neighbor becoming a Living Torah in this world..

Teresa of Avila was descended form a family that had been forced to convert to Catholicism in the years leading up to the Inquisition but I think she remained faithful to her roots by becoming Living Torah  through her relationship with our Jewish brother Jesus: She told us:

Christ has no body now but yours
No hands, no feet on earth but yours
Yours are the eyes through which He looks
compassion on this world
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.