Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Mary Magdalene

I wrote a reflection about Thomas this last week for the 2nd Sunday of Easter at St. Andrew's. A friend asked me if I had ever written a poem about Mary Magdalene. I told her I might have. I looked and I couldn't find one so I went to work on this - imagining a conversation between two good friends a couple thousand years ago. 

Mary Magdalene

Tonight's lamp caught a tear glistening

in your eye as I railed on once or twice.

Thank you Mary for not giving advice,

instead you are really quietly listening.

Talking with the brothers can be a pain,

they want to tell me what I should do

before I even finish my thoughts thru;

posturing how their ministry will gain.

Between you and I there is holy space,

eternity, where passing time is banished

as all barriers between us have vanished,

when the hearts of our souls touch grace.

You are an apostle of love to me and them;

a fire of passion that none could condemn.

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Thomas On Second Sabbath

 

A Reflection for 2nd Sunday of Easter                   St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, Nags Head, NC

April 24, 2022                                                        Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Celebrant

Thomas On Second Sabbath

Today I want to focus in on my namesake, Thomas. I was never given a good reason I was named Thomas. My father told a story about being at a bar near the hospital at St. Louis while my mother was in the hospital in labor with me and I was taking my time. The nurses told him to go out for awhile, out of the waiting room. He suggested that a guy at the bar next to him was named Thomas. I seem to remember that my mother rolled her eyes, sighed and shook her head when he told me that story.

In John's Gospel, the writer three times (11:16, 20:24, 21;2) has the phrase “Thomas, called Didymus” (Θωμᾶς ὁ λεγόμενος Δίδυμος). Usually, if someone tells you the same thing three different times, they are either poetic or trying to say something. His, and my, name is Thomas and he, and I, have a twin. We all have twins. It is not a biological twin but rather there are two parts of us, the me on the surface, whom my ego spends a lot of energy to keep bright and shiny. Then, there is, unconsciously, in us, the me that is my, what Carl Jung labels, “shadow”, and with whom my ego spends a great deal of energy keeping from coming to the conscious surface and hidden. I have hints of my shadow when I come into contact with people, places or things and I have unexplainable feelings, positive or negative, towards them. It is called projection.

We see positive projection and we call it “love at first sight” and have fantasies that this other person, place or thing could meet all of my needs. “ At last sweet mystery of life I've found you!” This is called “Falling in love”, which is not love but a psychological malady. It is a fantasy that you have twin souls. I wonder if the other disciples called Thomas “the Twin” because they saw his intense connection to the man Jesus, even more intense than they themselves had. When I do pre-marital counseling and the couple talks about how they “fell in love” and I see projection at work, I usually assign them an assignment to bring in a disagreement, I call it a “fight”, to the next session. I want to see how they can deal with each other when the projections are challenged and how they can still embrace the less than perfect fantasy person.

The Roadside Wedding Chapel Business is booming and divorces are high because  positive projections are so powerful but they do not stand up to reality long before being replaced by negative projections..

We have negative projections: when I come into contact with traits in someone else, that my ego has been working overtime to reject in me and then unconsciously I project anger, blame on them and shame on me. Those things that our egos have tried so hard to reject; I start to project onto others. It is the reason we want to keep having villains in plays, movies and stories, whose actions we boo and hiss, in the made up stories, or even news accounts, we tell. Every dream that I have which has a villain, and they all do, he or she is really the side of me I don't want to acknowledge. If I keep having variations of the same dream with similar villains; it is my soul telling me to wake up and deal with it in real life. If you choose not to remember your dreams and you want to shadow work; watch the evening news and pay attention to what most grabs your negative energy. Then it is “Me and My Shadow” time.

I want to focus on the fact that this second Sabbath, the first Sabbath after the Resurrection was a story of Thomas' entry into a Spiritual Life, by withdrawing his projections. Thomas Merton, another Thomas, was in charge of orienting, or helping the novice Monks at Gethsemane Abbey get a Spiritual Life. He had an opening line; “Gentlemen, the first thing about getting a Spiritual Life is for you to get a life.”

A Spiritual life is one of integrity. “Integrity” is a word that comes from the Latin “integer”, When used as a noun it is “Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code” and as an adjective “integral” defined as “Constituting a whole together with other parts or factors; not omittable or removable.

During the first week of Sabbath, Thomas chose not to be present, he chose to be “omittable and removable”. He had spent a lot of time before Jesus was arrested bragging that he would be with Jesus wherever he would go. Thomas' positive projections on Jesus were as the strong man who could speak one word and destroy all enemies. But Jesus had the sword put up and goes peacefully into his arrest and death. Jesus went to the cross and Thomas, his projections on Jesus in tatters, went to hide out. I don't think he was “Doubting Thomas” as much as he was “Divided and Damaged Thomas”. Filled with shame, which he does not want to admit, over his broken allegiance, he tried to deny responsibility for missing the first meeting of the Friends of Jesus on the Sabbath of the resurrection. Thomas said that unless he could put his fingers in the wounds of Jesus and his hands in the slashed side of Jesus, how could he, Thomas, be expected to believe? Thomas implies that it was not his fault but the fault of Jesus that he could not believe.

Again, as you have heard me say before, the word “believe” does not mean the acceptance of a proposition, but a commitment to the reality of it in ones own life. For instance, to “believe about” means something like “I believe there is an Omaha, Nebraska “, means only that your mind accepts a possibility of an existence of a city in Nebraska; but so what, what does it matter? Whereas the phrase “I believe in Omaha, Nebraska!” means that one is committed to Omaha being of vital importance in one's life, regardless of all its' shortcomings.

What happens is that Thomas makes a decision, to bring all of his doubt, all of his failure of nerve, all of his cowardliness; his whole being. His integral being - the light and the shadow, the good and the bad, his love and his fear, and brings all of it to Jesus. One's spiritual life begins in integrity of bringing one's whole being into relationship with the Risen Lord.

The Thomas story is, yes, the story about the resurrection of Jesus, but it is also the story of the resurrection of Thomas, who comes to new, and whole, life. It is like any relationship facing the times of difficulty. Wholeness begins when, we drop our projections on each other, bring our brokenness to the other and forgive even before we are asked to forgive. Resurrection is not just a one time historical event but a daily event when we live our lives with integrity. Thomas Merton in his autobiography Seven Story Mountain writes about that kind of moment

When a ray of light strikes a crystal, it gives a new quality to the crystal. And when God's infinitely disinterested love plays upon a human soul, the same kind of thing takes place. And that is the life called sanctifying grace.

Often we approach God with the things that we have done right; suggesting that God owes us for being a “good boy or girl”; God owes us one. We want God to fall in love with us. God does not fall in love with us, the love was alive long before we were born. But God calls us to come forward, broken as we are, as Thomas was, and trust in God's love, not God's reward. That is the beginning of a spiritual life; bringing our whole self , shadow and all, into the hope for resurrection to new life.

Thomas On Second Sabbath

Thomas, and whoever else; just be still.

Take a deep breath; breathing in, hold,

then hold more, until your mind's bold

enough for you to dare to build your will.

Your will to love, leaving behind your guilt

about letting me down, or agreeing to betray,

even after bragging that with me you'd stay

all the way, and beyond whatever evil built.

You don't have to ask; you were forgiven,

long before your feet stopped running

away from the guards and their cunning

laying their hands on me, the one given.

Open the eyes of your heart to see my risen love,

ascending from death, descending like the dove.


Saturday, April 16, 2022

Invitations in Creating a New Future

 

Easter Sunday 2022                            St Mary's Gatesville, NC

April 17, 2022                                   Thomas E Wilson; Guest Celebrant

Invitations in Creating a New Future


Alleluia, Christ is Risen!

The Lord is risen indeed, Alleluia!


What do we celebrate today? Is it the beginning of the end or is it the end of the beginning? And the answer is “Yes!”


I want to thank you for inviting me to join you on this Easter Morning. I join you as a guest and you have done me the honor of welcoming me as if I belonged to this community of St. Mary's. I am already here but not yet a member of this community. We share some beliefs, some norms of behavior but in order to be a member of this community I would need to be with you day in and day out, sharing laughter, arguments, weep and rejoice at the same time together; that is what makes a church.


Diane Butler Bass observed in her book, Christianity After Religion: The End of Church and the Birth of a New Spiritual Awakening:

“Instead of believing, behaving, and belonging, we need to reverse the order to belonging, behaving, and believing. Jesus did not begin with questions of belief. Instead, Jesus’ public ministry started when he formed a community.”


The end of the beginning, an invitation in creating a new future, a new community, is one of the themes in the lessons for today. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” In the beginning of creation, God created a vision for a new future, a community with God. But, as the story goes, the people decided they wanted to be in charge of their own staircase to the future. There were people like Jacob who saw the staircase in a vision, as an invitation to community. But even then, his sons shattered that community by selling their brother Joseph into slavery into Egypt. It should have been the beginning of the end.


Even then, God called forth Moses to bring the people back into community with God. But the people formed into competing groups, splintering the staircases. When Moses brought the people into the Promised Land, he shared God's vision for community; but over the years the vision that the people came up with was not in community with God, but rather to be in charge of their own staircases with Kings, Class structures and Religious Institutions.


In response, God called for Prophets to share the vision of a community with God going deeper down the staircase into the heart of God. In the Hebrew Testament lesson for today from the School of the Prophet Isaiah, the writer echos the invitation to the people in Exile in Babylon to take the first step. The school of the Prophet Isaiah, scholars theorize, began around 740 BC with the Prophet urging the people and rulers to to live into a community of justice instead of exploitation and greed so as to be worthy of being a Kingdom of God. The rulers were proud and stubbornly refused and the county was taken over by Assyria and later conquered by the Babylonians in 587 BC. who dragged away many to live in exile in Babylon. The school of Isaiah continued to comfort and minister to the people in the exile period and then in 539 BC , the Persians conquered the Babylon and allowed the people of Judah to return. The school of Isaiah ministered to the hopes of the returning exiles and painted a vision of the renewed community. They saw the hope that it was not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning. This is language of the vision of the new heavens and new earth in the lesson for today. It was an invitation to work together for a new return to a deeper community. However, the nation chose to put its faith in a new Temple and religious institutions. Therefore it continues its decline and becomes a corrupt puppet state in the backwaters of the Roman Empire. That should have been the beginning of the end.


But Jesus echos the school of Isaiah as he begins his public ministry at the Synagogue in Nazareth, and he begins to gather a community of followers with his vision. This new community lived as if was already, but not yet; it was the not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning. Yet, the vision was thwarted when they squabbled among themselves over who was the greatest. When Jesus was destroyed by the corrupt religious, economic and political institutions, the community fell apart. It should have been the beginning of the end.


Yet, some still held on to the hope. As the Gospel lesson for today starts off: “Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark,” a hint by the writer that a whole new dawn is coming. In this already and not yet, the already and not yet is about the struggle to believe the witness of the empty tomb and enter into community to walk down the stairway together. Peter sees the empty tomb, and goes back to regather the community together. Mary has a meeting with the risen Christ, but she want to hold on to the past, hold on to him. He tells her that the past is gone and it is time for a new vision for the future; she is told not to hold on to him; don't hold on to the past, but catch the vision of a new community. It is not the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning. The witnesses see the empty tomb but do not begin to believe, or change behavior or understand until they re-create a new community. However the community is stymied by divisions about who really belongs in the community and who is in charge.


The apostle Paul spends his energies trying to help mold a new creation of community following the Risen Lord and he lives faithfully inviting others to join to go deeper together down the staircase into the heart of the Risen Christ. Paul writes that letter to the Corinthians and to other churches that a creation of community is being thwarted by the squabbling over matter of doctrine and personality.

The church keeps revisiting the staircase of the vision of the future. However they waste time in squabbles over doctrine and behavior so that start to cling to opposing views as heresy and refuse to speak to each other.

Constantine three centuries later, made the church the official religion of the Roman Empire, but it was an already and not yet exercise over squabbles of doctrine and control, which continues to this day.

I have been going to church for three quarters of a century. When it was time for me to be confirmed, more than six decades ago, a learned a song at church camp sung to the tune of “God Bless America”:

I am an Anglican,
I am P.E., (Protestant Episcopal)
I am High Church and Low Church,
I am Protestant and Catholic and free.
Not a Presby, or a Lutheran,
Or a Baptist white with foam,
I am an Anglican,
Just one step from Rome
I am an Anglican,
Via media, my home.

I lived in towns with rows of competing churches. I worshipped in churches which split between radical liberals, mainstream liberals, mainstream conservatives and radical conservatives and people who just didn't care.

Divisions between races,

   between economic classes,

       between political persuasion,

Division about what was thought to be really important - things like; should women come into church with heads uncovered.

    About how to deal with women.

        How to deal with gay children.

            You name it and we would fight about it and push people out of community.

Today is Easter Sunday, the day we keep hearing:“Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark,” a hint by the writer that a whole new dawn is coming. Like Mary. it is not a time to hold on to the past, but to be open to see a new vision of community and join in creating a new future. It is about going beyond the boundaries of the traditional church structure; about joining with other churches, even to joining with those who do not profess a Christian doctrine, joining with people with whom we disagree to build community. A community, not as the beginning of the end but the end of the beginning, which is always what resurrection means. For as Isaiah reminds us what God continues in saying: “I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I am creating;”

Alleluia, Christ is Risen!

The Lord is risen indeed, Alleluia!


Invitations in Creating a New Future

The death of someone loved, we see as an end,

wanting so desperately to hold on to a past,

as if we'd a power or permission to be asked,

yet, allowing that spirit into our soul to emend.

His hopes and dreams becoming one with mine,

as I surrender myself from the center of being,

allowing him bond with me, new eyes seeing

a deeper reality, with a strengthening of spine.

His end was really the end of our beginning,

a resurrection into a new life in this world,

to journey into his dreams with sails unfurled

to live a resurrection life to new hope clinging.

The sun rising means that a new future begins,

in which we work together as if his love wins.



Saturday, April 9, 2022

Palm Sunday 2022

 

A Reflection for Palm Sunday                            St. Thomas Episcopal Church, Ahoskie, NC

April 10, 2022                                                    Thomas E. Wilson Guest Celebrant

Palm Sunday 2022”

The word “Ahoskie”, I am told, means “to listen”. Thank you for inviting me to be with you in Ahoskie to listen to what God might be saying in our hearts.

In Seminary, forty years ago, I had a Homiletics Professor who called preaching "making with the message". Usually I don't preach on Palm Sunday since the service is long enough as it is, but today I break that habit, and “make with a message”. I am retired and at age 75 - there are a lot more years behind me than before me. My death is closer than it ever has been. In fact, since the beginning of this service, I am now a half an hour closer to my death. I don't want to die. I don't know how or when it will happen - could be decades, years, hours; who knows? But it is a reality – as Simon and Garfunkel put it; “That's a fact Jack!”

Writer Dave Eggers, found out about death 40 years ago, when he was 21, when both of his parents died and he was left alone to raise his 8 year old brother. He wrote:

"On the one hand you are so completely bewildered that something so surreal and incomprehensible could happen. At the same time, suddenly the limitations or hesitations that you might have imposed on yourself fall away. There's a weird, optimistic recklessness that could easily be construed as nihilism but is really the opposite. You see that there is a beginning and an end and that you have only a certain amount of time to act. And you want to get started."

Last month Eggers turned 52 years old and after many successes and many mistakes, he is still writing and publishing.

In the same way. Jesus, on Palm Sunday, knows that his death is at hand. Like all of us humans, he does not know when, or how it will be, but when he rides into Jerusalem, he knows it will be just a matter of time. So how does that awareness change what he does and what we do?  What are the things he chooses to do and on what does he no longer waste time?  He makes choices like spending quality time with friends, healing of others, forgiving, speaking truth to power, telling people of his love for them,  saying good- bye. He makes 10 commitments in his final week:

He reminds the community of who and whose they are.

He gathers his community together, washing their feet and feeding his friends with especial focus on bread and wine as outward and visible signs for when he will not be with them.

He reminds them that all human monuments will crumble.

He heals the sick and performs work of mercy.

He confronts the forces of hypocrisy in Religion and governments.

He stands up against injustice.

He is ruthlessly honest in dealing with his enemies.

He forgives outlandishly.

            He is a messenger of Grace.

            He trusts that all things, even death, are redeemed by God.

Anne Lamott wrote: “My deepest belief is that to live as if we’re dying can set us free. Dying people teach you to pay attention and to forgive and not to sweat the small stuff.”

We are now 37 minutes closer since the beginning of the service. “That's a fact Jack!” What does our remaining life look like to each of us?

Palm Sunday 2022

Getting on a donkey, riding for hours,

to say a few words, make some motions,

in the hopes of changing some notions

about how dealing with all the powers,

might bring a sense of meaning to lives;

that every moment is filled with touches

of the Holy; becoming dancers not judges,

before being consigned to dusty archives.

Couple of thousand years later, in same task,

being called to dance to the music of stars

by walking with others; healing some scars,

by singing, listening or daring prayer to ask

our lives might become beacons of light

to all of us walking in darkness into night.