A Holy Year

 

A Reflection for the 7^th Sunday after Pentecost             Church of the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC

Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Celebrant                            July, 7, 2024

2 Samuel 5:1-5, 9-10               Psalm 48                 2 Corinthians 12:2-10             Mark 6:1-13

A Holy Year

Some weeks ago, I told you that the Books of Samuel would tell you of the history of the Kingdom of Saul and David. Saul was the great young leader who met with early success, but his arrogance plagued the last years of his Kingship. David will start off well and this week shows the young man at his prime. However, the authors of the Books of Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles have a deeper message to tell which was a warning about the Kings, in fact about any ruler who strays away from the path of following God's will to be a servant first and foremost. When “Rulers” understand that they must first be a faithful servant, then and only then can they rule wisely. This message will be reiterated in the Books of the Chronicles: “No matter how good a ruler wants to be; his or her arrogance will place them in tension with what God calls the rulers to be.”

Yes, the books are about the tension between Kings and Prophets of the past. But the deeper reason they were written was not only about the tragedies of the past, but also as a warning about the bitter comedies we, Kings and Peasants alike, tend to create in our own lives. It is all about human nature; we may begin as heroes of our own stories and imagination, but we can end up filled with arrogance if we follow our own agendas instead of God's. Almost all the Kings wanted to be seen as Heroes but they usually ended up one way of the other, to use the old Yiddish term,”Schmucks”.

In a 2010 article in Forward Magazine, Etiquette for Schmucks, Schlemiels, Schlimazels and Schmendriks, the author wrote:

“attempts to draw a distinction of the term "schmuck" from other Yiddish terms for stupid and inept persons: schlemiel, schlimazel, and schmendrik, a distinction not properly drawn in dictionaries. After a number of comparisons, the author concludes: "A schmuck is, in short, someone who lacks not intelligence, but all insight into what is humanly appropriate and what is not. This makes his condition remediable. A schlemiel, a schlimazel and a schmendrik are irredeemably what they are. A schmuck can be enlightened.”

In the Epistle, the Apostle Paul, who writes in Greek, not Yiddish, and uses the word “ἄφρων” (aphron), “foolish” when he refers to the temptation he has to think so highly of himself. He is the Leader of the church, a man who has the Risen Lord speak directly to him, being aware of his own difficulties in being in charge, his own “schmuckitude”.

In the Gospel lesson for today, Jesus returns to his own old hometown. The people don't know what to think of him, because he is pushing them to go deeper in their faith. They refuse to change, to be challenged to grow; and in essence they, brand him as a schmuck, not worth their consideration; “Who does he think he is?”

You would have thought that he would have just given up; but Jesus does not give up; he changes opportunities. In the Gospel lesson, Jesus takes the disciples deeper into their faith. He sends them out two by two, so they can build a deeper relationship with each other and God. They begin to use the sacred space between each other and, out of that sacred space, God's healing blossoms.

Over this last year, I told you about the first time I met my future wife. It was the first week working after graduating from Seminary in the new diocese and how little impressed she was with me, because she saw me, rightly, as so full of my own importance . As a good former Roman Catholic girl brought up in Toledo, Ohio, I am sure that the word “schmuck” did not occur to her, but I am sure she thought of a good long list of synonyms. It took her five years for her to think about working with me. Then, and only after we worked together; we risked going deeper in relationship. When we entered into the relationship, both of us worked hard to grow into and become the person the other wanted us to become. We entered into the sacred space between us to go deeper than we ever imagined into faith.

Your search Committee has done its work and has chosen a new Rector for this church. If I were ruler of the Universe, and I am not- I just want to be; one of the titles that I think should be junked in the Episcopal church is the title: “Rector”. The word “Rector” means “Ruler”, one of the worst titles to give a servant of God; right up there with King. But on the other hand, it may be helpful to remember that the Rulers, Rectors, Kings always needed Prophets to remind the Rector, Ruler, King, if even in their own mind, that they need to keep being reminded that they are not called to rule but to serve. As Jesus says in the 22^nd chapter of Luke: “For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.”

When I first became a Rector of a church, after being as assistant at my previous church, I taped that reading from Luke: “I come among you as one who serves” to the door of my office, not to remind them - but to remind myself before that stuff about being a Ruler/Rector all went to my head and I ended up as a Schmuck. I had to keep reminding myself that if I entered a relationship with a congregation; I needed to work hard to become the person they wanted me to be. Often it was reciprocal as members of the congregations I served chose to go deeper into faith and served in ministering with me to others inside and outside the church.

When the Books of Samuel and Kings end; the prophets return to hold the leaders and the Kings to a path of being faithful; a path from which they keep wandering. The prophet Micah will thunder out to the Kings and to the people: “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

This past week we celebrated the 4^th of July, a day we remember our history when we refused to have Kings rule over us. We joined together to create a new nation. The writers pointed to- “ A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.”

This is the 7^th Sunday after Pentecost 2024; a year ago in July 2023 on the 8^th Sunday after Pentecost, I came to this church and preached and celebrated. My wife had died a month before, and the funeral was to be held in about 10 days. I was on sort of an auto pilot, but I do remember how kind you were to me. I want to thank you for this year, for you have been part of my healing as you ministered to me. You forgave easily and chose not to dwell on my shortcomings. The new Rector is a fortunate person. Bless you in your new ministry together.

A Holy Year

It was July, the middle of the year,

When there were grace moments,

In coming together as components,

Of sacred times of grace held dear.

Losses and sadness were underneath,

While shared laughter and joy ruled,

Those spaces between whole, souled,

Folk being joy as flowers to a wreath.

The outward signs of a loving beauty,

Came into being Holy Space renewed,

Made into new life, hope's new attitude,

Blossomed more opportunities of duty.

This Priest came to lead some prayer

but ends up treasuring your new care.

Thank you for your ministry to me this past year! May you and the new Priest bless each other and this community in these coming years.

What Is In The Way, Is The Way

Reflection and Poem for 6^th Sunday after Pentecost                   Church of the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC

Thomas E Wilson, Guest Celebrant                                             June 30, 2024

What Is In The Way, Is The Way

2 Samuel 1:1, 17-27         Psalm 130          2 Corinthians 8:7-15            Mark 5:21-43

A couple weeks ago, I was leading a Dream Group, where people come together to share their dreams. We tend to believe that dreams are what what one author called “Unopened Letters From God” There are so many times in scripture when a person is given a dream from God to help them find a new way of responding to occasions in life. Years ago, my wife and I took some educational time off and attended some conferences and workshops about Dream Work within the context of a spiritual journey. This week Joanne Seibert, who went to these conferences, wrote:

Many believe God is the dream maker who speaks to us in the language of dreams at night. However, my experience is that only in a dream group can I find meaning. Looking back on what I thought this dream meant, the answer was obvious, but only other people could see it.

experience is that only in a dream group can I find meaning. Looking back on what I thought this dream meant, the answer was obvious, but only other people could see it.

We set up dream groups in our parish and Pat took a couple groups of women and I took a group of men The task to share your dream and the other members listen and ask questions and then share, “If this were my dream, I would hear the message as . . . .!” Notice we do not act as experts and say what the other persons' dreams means, but what it would be saying to a member of the group who was hearing the Spirit speak to them. Women were better at sharing and growing deeper in the Spirit; men usually competed on who was the smartest and what “SHOULD” be the correct answer; generally wasting time.

Pat's groups continued to grow and thrive. But, much later, when she got weaker, she cut back. When she died, I was asked to take over a remaining group. I stalled in mourning, but after awhile I agreed. This last meeting, one of the women, reflecting on what she was hearing said, “It is just like what I was told once, 'What is in the way, is the Way.'”

I thought about that phrase the rest of the day, the rest of the week. To use that old British slang I was “Gobsmacked”. “Gob” is a British slang for “mouth” and “smacked” meaning “hit”: It literally left me breathless, as if I was slugged in the mouth I was reminded of the time in the mid 1970's, when I was in Grad school and when I first heard that Lyric from Suzanne by Leonard Cohen; in the second chorus after referring to Jesus. I had been attending church but sneeringly avoiding faith, but then I understood that my own so-called wisdom was getting in the way of understanding the Jesus message.

And Jesus was a sailor

When he walked upon the water

And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower

And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him

He said, "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"

But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human

He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body with his mind

“What is in the way is the way!”

When I looked at these lessons, I realized that a theme that spoke to me was these lessons are about people waiting for healing. In the Gospel, Jesus the sailor, is dragged off the boat and dragged through the crowds. The officials in charge want the people to deal with the reality of death and despair. They want Jesus to stay on the boat. But the crowd longs for Jesus to get off the boat to heal them or the people they loved. There are those who find themselves blocked by grief, or pain, or whatever, from moving toward healing; wanting their bodies or the bodies of those they loved to be healed. But the blockage of the crowds IS the door to go through if healing is to begin. “What is in the way, is the way!”

And in the way, that is the way: a woman is healed because because she thinks if only she can, only touch the hem of his garment, she will be healed. And, she stretches, and pushes and yells, for all she is worth; for her life is her worth; she is healed. Just the hem of his garment is all she is able to touch; but it is enough. The touch is the commitment for life, making the effort to live, or die, in hope, “What is in the way, is the way!”

Jesus makes it to the young girl's house; and all the people who are in charge tell him it is too late. Like the Doctor in the office who says we are no longer seeing patients. But office hours, or crush of patients, or the advice of experts melts away and the girl hears the phrase of healing “Talitha Cum”, “Rise little girl!” an invitation to be made whole: “What is in the way, is the way!”

In the Psalm for today, 130, De Profundis: “Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord;
Lord, hear my voice; *let your ears consider well the voice of my supplication.” This is the call of many of us when we want God to listen and fix the problem. When nothing seems to be fixed according to our time table, we tend to get angry about God not acting fast enough and we spend so much time and energy, complaining about God that we just don't get around to listening. The healing is in the listening. In is in the entering of the present moment of prayer that healing finds a way in. “What is in the way, is the Way.”

Joan Chittister, an American Benedictine nun, Spiritual leader and author, urges that we use silence to listen in the present moment. She quotes a Sufi master of living intentionally in the present moment. “Awareness of the power of the present is the essence of the contemplative life. ‘Oh wonder of wonders,’ the Sufi master says, ‘I chop wood, I draw water from the well.'”;even in the mundane task of chopping wood, but being fully aware of God's presence, he is able to fill his spiritual well in his once empty heart. “What is in the way, is the Way.”

We see this in the story of David, who has been fleeing from Saul's mania and now two people whom David loved, Saul and his Son Jonathan, are both dead. David laments the loss of his dear friends, from whom he was so estranged and cries out in pain in his heart; “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!' When he enters into the awareness of God's presence with him; he praises their valor and mourns their loss. He is losing people who were his enemies; but they were the same people he loved and knew that, underneath, he was loved and beloved by them. “What is in the way, is the Way.”

Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians reading for today, is urging his congregation to be generous in helping others and he refers to the Exodus miracle of the Manna in the wilderness. The word “Manna”, which is the Hebrew word for “What is it?” was the word they used to refer to the bread like substance that looked unappetizing laying on the ground. The manna was all over the ground. It was blocking their way, they can't even walk without stepping on it; BUT when they picked it up; it tasted like honey and filled their hunger: Paul quotes the writer of the Exodus story: “The one who had much did not have too much, and the one who had little did not have too little.” God gives us what we need to get through what we go through. “What is in the way, is the Way.”

In my own life. I wanted Pat to be healed and back in my everyday life. Death comes to us all and it is not a sign of sloth in faith. I miss her every day, but we loved each other. It is not the number of days that is as important as the love shared in the days we have. Each day we are to love each other, “for richer , for poorer, in sickness and in health.” The vow to love usually ends “until we are separated by death”. To which I would add, what I have learned “ . . . and even beyond being separated by death.” “What is in the way, is the Way.”

What is in your way? May you find; “What is in the way, is the way.”

Bible Stories Living Into Centuries

A Reflection for the 4^th Sunday after Pentecost                  Church of the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC

June 16, 2024                                                                      Thomas E Wilson , Guest Celebrant

1 Samuel 15:34-16:13     Psalm 20      2 Corinthians 5:6-10,[11-13],14-1     Mark 4:26-34

Bible Stories Living Into Centuries

The Hebrew Testament lessons for the season after Pentecost offer two different options, or Tracts.  “One option, Tract 1, is to take a period of time in Scripture and work our way through it as it progresses semi-continuously through the Patriarchal/Exodus narratives (Year A), the Monarchial narratives (Year B), and the Prophets (Year C). The other set, Tract 2 is related thematically, or is complementary, to the gospel lections for those dates.”.

I like using Tract 1 because Episcopalians tend to be somewhat Biblically illiterate and I like to push Episcopalians to learn more about Scripture. This year we are looking at the Monarchical narratives; how do the Children of Israel deal with Kings and the tension between what the Kings want and what the Prophets hear God calling on the Kings to be faithful? You might remember that two weeks ago, I used the story about how the Child Samuel came to grips with a corrupt religion and the beginning of his struggle for reforming the Hebrew faith. He was also beginning the struggle to reform the governmental organization. I tend to push that because in America we live in a dynamic tension between God and Government. Last week, when I was not here, you probably heard the Lesson of Samuel anointing Saul as King.

Well, the first lesson for today has the story of Samuel coming to the end of his patience with Saul. Last week, you heard that Samuel had warned the people that having a King is a tricky business, because Kings want to “Lord” it over their subjects, The people insisted and Samuel anointed Saul, as the winner of the election. Let me fill you in on what happened after Saul won the election. Saul was a mighty warrior and he had won many battles, but with each victory his ego grew even bigger. He started to swagger like all Kings tend to swagger. He started to believe that he, Saul, was in charge, and not God. The final straw was when Samuel delivered the message from God that Saul was to fight against the Amalekites, and utterly wipe them and all their possessions from the face of the earth. The Amalekites, (Boo – Hiss) ,were popular villains in the Biblical Sagas: fightings against God's people. from Moses on his way to the promised land from Egypt, for over six centuries of sagas to King Hezekiah. They were loose confederations of nomadic tribes of raiders who lived in the Negev and Arabian deserts

Well, Saul won the battle, but when he looked over the treasure and cattle and livestock of the Amalekites, the thought it would be a waste of so much treasure settled in his heart and avarice. So. he divided up the treasure and let the King, Agag, be spared, for while he was the enemy, he had been very successful before meeting Saul, and you never know when you might need a good bandit to help out shared enemies. You may have noticed that in history, yesterday's enemy can become tomorrow's friend and vice versa.

Samuel looks over the treasure and he suggests that Saul is more interested in getting rich than he is in following God. When Samuel turns from Saul, Saul reaches over to stop him from turning away and he accidentally rips Samuel's cloak. Samuel tells Saul as the cloak has been ripped, so God will rip away Saul's Kingdom from him. Then, as a master of bad timing, Agag comes waltzing in, smiling, showing up still alive; that really frosts Samuel's cookies. To settle the argument, Samuel takes a sword to the smiling Agag and hacks him into pieces. It is my hope that when you heard the story of Samuel begin, you might have been tempted to pick up your Bible to read what happens in the story before this week's lesson

Samuel, throws the bloody sword on the ground and starts on the next job of finding a replacement for Saul. The lesson for today tells us that Samuel goes to the House of Jesse and looks over his sons. The sons are strong and good looking, but Jesse does not hear God's approval. There is another son, but he is young and is watching the sheep. He does not fit the outward image of warrior from Central Casting, but God sees differently than humans, and David is anointed. This begins the David Saga as Saul and David enter into competition for the favor of the people.

Next week, you will hear the David and Goliath story and in two weeks when I come back, we will have the death of Saul, and David's lament; “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished.” That next week after that, the first Sunday of July, we will see how David is made King over all of Israel. These parts of the story will cover about 10 chapters, about 30 pages, finishing 1^st Samuel and starting 2^nd Samuel. The next week after that, when I won't be here as well, there is a doozy of a story where David brings the Ark of the Covenant into the City and is so full of himself that he dresses in a linen ephod and leaps so high in dancing that he flashes the people, and one of his wives, Michel, Saul's Daughter, reads him the riot act and frosts the wedding bed. This will set up room for Bathsheba. The early warnings of Samuel about the Pride of Kings come back as we watch David deal with his responsibility. In August, you will finish the David story and got into the Solomon story. Keep the reading up; it helps you to understand what the first lesson is relating each week of the tension between the power of politics and the faith of love.

Plus, the people you interview for the job will have a hint you are not just passive readers, but want to have a relationship that is spiritual as well as organizational and personal. They will know that you know that leaders will have flaws and you are there to help them in a shared ministry.

The story of David for today ties into the Gospel lesson as well. David is such a small person that people want to sell him short; like the Mustard Seed, in Jesus metaphor, which is overlooked, but is able to grow and provide a place of peace for the birds of the air. This church is a small church and we run the risk of not seeing what is growing inside.When I was here two weeks ago, I saw you reach outside yourself to help young people in this community. You know how to welcome people and I am exhibit A of people you have helped.

On June 23^rd a year ago, my wife died and I was part of the walking wounded. The service for her needed to wait until the families could get here and it was set to be on July 31^st. You reached out to me and put me to work on the 16^th of July as I bumped into furniture, but it was a chance for me to get away as the center of my own universe. You were kind and I was thankful. Later, you visited me when I was in the hospital and prayed for me. You know how to love and you accepted what little I had to give. You were faithful in bringing me out of the valley of the shadow.

My standard line I will give to each applicant who asks me; “These people know how to love and to forgive. Don't disappoint them! Walk with them, Be at home with them as they reach out to share your ministry to the community and this church.”

This afternoon, I will drop Yoda, the Wonder Dog, off at the Kennel and tomorrow morning fly to Colorado to spoil my grandsons, my daughter and her husband for a week, Then I will come back and try to finish a sermon, on the death of Saul, “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!' That sermon carries a history.

I have to warn you that Track 1 can get you into trouble. Forty years ago, soon after my ordination, I was serving as the assistant to the Rector, of the Church and as Chaplain to Episcopal Students at Virginia Tech. Filled with self importance and reacting to the then US President Ronald Regan, mining the Harbors of Nicaragua at the time. My refrain was David's lament at the death of Saul and his sons: “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!' It was one of my sermons that received the most displeasure by any congregation. I started off preaching by breaking the rule that politics have no place in the pulpit. I learned that few people cared about my politics. Priests are not here to straighten out your politics, I am here to remind you to love each other and your neighbors, and even your enemies. I don't know what I will say; but I do know what I am not going to say. When you hire the new person, you may have to forgive her or him and get whatever out in the open. My people did.

Lets see what happens. Read the lessons and read your Bible on what goes on between the lessons. Then; I ask you to Pray about what these lessons seem to be saying to you living in Hertford, North Carolina in this year of our Lord 2024.

Bible Stories Living Into Centuries

Sex and Violence, Prayers and Songs

Different each week for new messages,

Hope and peace told in these premises,

Working to touch what our heart longs.

When we hear, we become Davids anew,

Holding on to slim strengths of our own,

Reaching out, so as to not find us alone,

But to return to the hope we once knew.

Stories told us when we were children,

Out of memory, or the illustrated books,

Picturing old men with so long beards,

Flying through the air as like big birds.

Fixing humans with very serious mien.

Yet all around, was the love we'd seen.

" Who Is That Stranger In The Mirror?"

 

A Reflection the 2^nd Sunday after Pentecost                 Church of the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC

June 2, 2024                                                                  Thomas E Wilson, Guest Celebrant

1 Samuel 3:1-10(11-20          Psalm 139:1-5, 12-17         2 Corinthians 4:5-1          Mark 2:23-3:6

                                        “Who Is That Stranger In the Mirror?”

In the lessons for today I am aware that some of the characters in the stories are strangers to themselves. Part of growing up is finding out who you really are and who you were created to be by God. I want to start off with a quote I ran across this week by Easter de Waal author of Living with Contradiction: An Introduction to Benedictine Spirituality: “If I am estranged from myself, then I am also estranged from others too. It is only as I am connected to my own core that I am connected to others.”

Lets take a look at the first lesson from the Book of Samuel. He is a young boy whose mother was Hannah, a wife of Elkanah,a Levite who had prayed to God that she might be able to bear a child. The Levite had another wife, Peninnah, who was a baby making machine and taunted Hannah mercilessly that God had seemed to have turned the Divine back on Hannah. God hears her prayer and she bears a child at last. She sees the child as a gift from God who is meant to be given back to God When He is weaned she devotes him to the care of a Priest named Eli after calling him “Samuel”, which means a gift, a loan from God. Hannah will come back every year with a new robe she would make for Samuel and bless him. She and her husband were to have other children, three sons and two daughters.

Samuel is to find out what it will mean to be lent from God. His life as a prophet will be the person who acts as God's witness, the conscience of Kings, to what needs to be said to leaders like Saul and David. What if each of us saw ourselves not as our own person free to do whatever our ego had a desire for, but saw ourselves as gifts, being loaned from God, during this life on earth.

One of the high points of my being a Parish Priest was to be one of the first people to see a child born to a couple of my parishioners. I would pick up the baby and I would say a prayer of thanksgiving and of hope. I would remember that day when my daughter was born and I held her and I realized that she was only being a dazzling and precious gift being loaned to me. I am so proud of her. In a couple of weeks I will make a trip out to Colorado, where I will be a guest in her home and grandparent to her children and father-in- law to her husband. I am literally her “old man”. She came out East a couple years ago to bury her mother and then last year to help bury her stepmother, Sometime in the future she will the person that people will go to when it is time to bury me.

Back to Samuel, who is living with, Eli a Priest. The problem is that Eli has two grown sons who are also Priests. He loves them, but they are just no damn good. They are estranged from God, estranged from their father and estranged from themselves. They treat offerings meant for God, given by Parishioners, which Priests are supposed to bless and give to God and the poor. But, they confiscate what they want and give the scraps to God. They tend to seduce and exploit women who have come to them for help in their troubles. The sons see the task of being a Priest as being an exploiter of people as objects. They have no relationship with the people as full human beings, nor do they see the need to have a relationship with God. They are rotten no good sons, but Eli, their father loves them and tries to overlook what they do. But God has had enough and he sends a message to Eli to tell him that time is running out for his sons. But Eli, who loves his sons beyond reason, is shutting God out. God wakes Samuel up to have him give the message that Eli refuses to hear. Eli continues to not want to hear, when Samuel gets the impression that it Eli calling and not God. Finally Eli understands that God is warning him that his sons will soon reap the whirlwind of their deeds.

In the Gospel lesson Jesus and his disciples run into a bunch of Pharisees. Pharisees, the name means “separated ones”, are people who the community sees as standouts and are supposed to be the best people in town, looked up and admirer for all the obeying of the religious law that they do in paying close attention to both the written and oral law of tradition. There is another group called the “Sadducees”. The Sadducees, getting their name from Zadok, the First High Priest of Solomon's Temple, were connected to the Temple and mainly followed the written law of scripture. Jesus would have seen himself as a Pharisee but the Pharisees did not trust him, because Jesus had displayed that compassion was the most important attribute of following God. Pharisees saw God as the big law giver in the sky and liked to point the implications of all the rules and God's great abhorrence of sinners; Jesus usually talked about forgiveness based on love. Jesus used to talk about God as the loving Father, the Pharisees tended to see God as ultra strict School master who loves to flunk mediocre students. The Pharisees and the Sadducees did not like each other very much; but they agreed on both really not liking Jesus or the God that Jesus was promoting.

In this story for today, it is the day of the Sabbath, a day when the law said you were supposed to do no work until the sun went down, and to limit the length of travel. You can eat during the Sabbath, but the food needs to be prepared before the sabbath. The Pharisees notice that Jesus' disciples are walking too far,. AND this is a big AND to them; as they see the disciples walking through a grain field, some of the disciples are running their hand over the wheat and unconsciously picking the ears of wheat and rubbing the chaff off to eat the grain; the rubbing is defined as working on the Sabbath and therefore they are grievous sinners. Jesus in essence tells them to get a life. Jesus will refer later that the Pharisees “strain their water though a cloth to keep out gnats but swallow a camel.”

This last week on the Center for Contemplation and Action Blog site, The Rev. Rabbi Sharon Brous wrote “[A] Rabbinic text … from the ninth century declares that every person is accompanied, at all times, by a procession of angels crying out, “Make way, for an image of the Holy One is approaching!”

When I first met my wife Pat; she was working for the Diocese as a Christian Education Consultant to Parishes. I looked at her gathered with a bunch of her friends, who were also angry women who looked at this newly minted Seminary Graduate with disdain. I dismissed her from my consideration as a colleague immediately. It took years, but after working together, I was able to see her not as a thorn in my side but as an image of God. When my eyes were opened to the deeper reality, I found that I loved her. A day does not go by that I am so thankful she was in my life. She taught me how to pay attention to the images of God all around me.

Jesus will point out that the relationship between God and God's people is for us humans to really live into being an image of God showing mercy not sacrifice. Every so often I get an attack of the “Should Ofs”. “Should of s” are when I do an evaluation of others and go though a list of all the “Should Ofs” that they should of done. The things that bug me the most are the things I had done; and in order not to dwell on it myself, I pass the anger on to them That flows into another problem when I see that a person who does something I should of done. or have left out. It is an easy game to play and it usually makes me feel superior. I can say “Well I didn't do that!,” when I saw what another person has done. The problem with my too enthusiastically pat myself on the back is that I tend to dislocate my shoulder and neck.

Last week the churches celebrated the Mystery of the Trinity; in that we are reminded that God is community within Godself. This week we move from that understanding to know that the only way we can really know God is when we enter into community with God and find out who and whose we are. Otherwise, we keep looking at a stranger in the mirror.

Joanna Seibert, from whose blog I stole the De Waal quote ended that blog note with an anonymous quote which I will use as an ending poem:

“I sought my God.

My God I could not see.

I sought my soul

My soul eluded me.

I sought my brother

And I found all three.”

Trinity Sunday : "Here Am I, Send Me!"

A Reflection for Trinity Sunday                                    St. Thomas Episcopal Church, Ahoskie, NC

May 26, 2024                                                                Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Celebrant

Isaiah 6:1-8            Romans 8:12-17             John 3:1-17              Psalm 29

“Here Am I, Send me!”

In the first lesson for today Isaiah in the Southern Kingdom of Judah begins to hear his calling; “In the year that King Uzziah died.” One theory is that the young Isaiah and the old Uzziah were cousins; so it was also an emotional time as a death in the family for Isaiah. When a leader of a nation dies, there is a time of reflection on Uzziah's life as ruler of the nation of Judah. Uzziah came to the throne as co-regent with his father Amaziah when Uzziah was only 16. The reason for this was that Amiziah's father, Joash, was assassinated by his own guards. And Amazish wanted to make sure that if there was another assassination coup attempt, there would be some legitimacy in the son being co-ruler. Uzziah followed the model and ended his reign as co-regent with his son, Jothan.

It was a time of great prosperity for the nation and of military success. But, on the negative side was of the over step of Uzziah's challenge of the role of the Priests of the Temple, and of Uzziah's later decent into Leprosy, which the Priests hinted was God's punishment for messing with the will of the Priests. According to the Law, written by the Priests, the only people who could diagnose Leprosy were Priests. Leprosy for Uzzish meant he was, by law and custom, separated from his family and advisors and moved into a home away from the palace. He was a King in luxury but in name only, while his son, Jothan, made all the decisions. Isaiah hears in his vision that he himself is being called to a spiritual leadership in the Kingdom as Counselor to the King Jothan.

Leaders, no matter how good they are, are all too human. Only three of our presidents Adams, Harrison and Bush were sons or grandsons of previous presidents. I have lived through the deaths of nine United States Presidents, John Kennedy in 1963, Hebert Hoover, in 1964, Dwight Eisenhower in 1969, Harry Truman in 1972, Lyndon Johnson in 1973, Richard Nixon in 1994, Ronald Regan in 2004, Gerald Ford in 2006, and George H. W Bush in 2018. Each of them were all too human, but at the end of the life of a President there is usually a time of reflection on what the past looked like, and what the future has in store for the history to be written. There were reflections on successes achieved and failures suffered. Both of the major candidates for President in this year's election are as old as I am, a senior citizen, so we can count on the fact that the major news outlets already have an assessment penciled in on both of these men. In fact, it is standard practice for pre-need obituaries to be written, periodically updated, and sometimes accidentally published by major news outlets. Pope John Paul II had premature obituaries published in the papers three different times before he actually died.

Forty years ago, after I got out of Seminary, I was first called as an associate Rector at the first church. After two years, I realized I was too arrogant to be anyone's assistant. I had longer tenures at three other churches as a Rector. In these churches I have served, I began with a sense of call where I heard in my mind my response of a visitation to what I convinced myself was God's call; “Here am I send me!” Two of the three churches I had to do massive building programs, which I did not want to do. I wanted to help build souls not buildings. Then, as my tenure ended at each of the three churches, there was usually been a time of reflection as they prepared to called the new Priest about the relief or regret that came to mind about the Wilson years there.

After I reached the mandatory retirement age as a Rector of a Church, I try to listen to hear, not just a ask by the Senior Warden for a fill in at a church for a Sunday, but a semblance of a call from God to Preach or serve. “Here am I, send me!” I have heard several calls to be an Interim at different parishes but accepted only once.

I am at the point in my life now when I still keep listening so that I might respond; “Here am I; send me.” This week I had friends, a married couple that I known for years through participation of a local art series. We would see each other at concerts, events and program and at church from time to time. We would laugh with delight at the programs. There is something about the space between people who are in awe. As I was trying to write this reflection; I got word that he, the husband, had suddenly just died. My first response was that I last seen him a couple weeks ago and he and I laughed together. My second response was to say to God, “Here am I send me!” I left her a note that she was in my heart and I was available to help.

About eleven months ago I learned first hand what it is like to lose the love of my life. It was horrible;

it still is. I am reminded of the story that Abraham Lincoln used to tell when he went through a horrible experience. He said it reminded him of a story related by a man who had been tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. When asked how he felt that victim replied; “Well if it weren't for the honor of the thing; I would had just as soon walk.”

The note I left was to make sure the door was open for me to be available. Not to be her minister, she already has one. But just to be a friend who loved her husband and her. There is no special training involved; just to be available to walk with her through a rough time. There are no magic words. There is no sublime Priestly wisdom. There is no special incantations. Just the taking the time to say to God; “Here am I; send me!” Then listen and do what you feel called to do without your ego getting in the way.

A suggestion that I would give you is to start off each day with thanksgiving for all that you see in this new day. Then take some time in silence. Is there someone who needs your love? Is there someone who might need some help? Is there a person who needs to be thought of kindly? Then in the silence; remind God that you are here willing to be sent.

In the 16^th Century Teresa of Avila entered a Convent and went deep into her soul. She wrote about her journey as a guide and invitation to go deeper into that Interior Castle, which she saw as having seven chambers. I am not suggesting that you immediately buy a copy and read it. But I do suggest you get a copy of a prayer/poem attributed to her, which you can get on line free of charge and spend the next week reading it every day before your silence:

Christ Has No Body

Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
Compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet,
Yours are the eyes, you are his body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
compassion on this world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.

After the silence; be prepared to say; “Here am I; send me!”

Here Am I, Send Me

This big world sure looks like a real mess.

Where people ride rough shod over others,

As I long to keep my head under my covers,

And I am divided on should I curse or bless.

Usually, I want to start with big salty curses,

At my inability to fix it all by the end of day,

When I long that my power is to have it's say,

Justifying that the victor gets to write verses.

Yet, the words keep coming into my soul;

“Can you do this act of love for this person.

Who is having a time before it gets worsen?

Don't need to fix it; sharing love is the goal!

All that is needed is they know they deserve,

That full time spent when you chose to serve.

Paying Attention With the Ear of Your Heart

 

A Reflection for the Feast Of Pentecost                     The Church if the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC

May 19, 2024                                                             Thomas E Wilson, Guest Celebrant

Paying Attention with the Ear of Your Heart.

Ezekiel 37:1-14 Psalm 104:25-35, 37 Acts 2:1-21 John 15:26-27; 16:4b-15

Today is the Day of Pentecost; one of my favorite days. Right now, you can offer a silent prayer that I am not your Rector, here every week, because if I had been I would have been enlisting people to read the Pentecost Gospel lesson together in different languages. The call would have gone out, and I would have put on the full court press to corral “volunteers” or more correctly “volun-tolds”, to stand up in front of God and everyone in the congregation to read the lesson in different languages. Then after the Sermon , Creed, and the prayers of the people, each of the readers of the languages would stand up and say in different languages, “ Peace be with you” would be in Hebrew: “Shalom aleichem!”, in French “La paix soit avec vous” , Spanish :”Paz á vosotros”, Koine Greek: “Εἰρήνη ὑμῖν

Over the last forty plus years in different churches in which I have served or attended, I have heard the Acts lesson in English, Modern Greek, Koine Greek, Latin, French, Spanish, German, Italian, Hungarian, Polish, Russian, Arabic, Tamil from Sri Lanka, Ibo from Nigeria, and I am sure there have been others. For some it was an academic exercise, but what I most enjoyed were people who spoke in the language that they had learned as a child and the language in which they were held in the arms of those who loved them.

The readers who read in different languages were doing two different things; one after reading the lesson over and over again in preparation is memory and the other is is to enter into imagination and live into the dream of being of being a faithful disciple of the Risen Lord in a different time and place .

There are six parts of the Human brain which do different things. There are parts for Memory, Manipulation, Cognition, Reward, Language and Vision. There is a part of the brain which we use for the processing of information, facts and figures that will be used to help with every day problems; like using math to balance a checkbook. Or we can use a part of the brain to solve gaps in our historical knowledge; like an awareness of the complex history of Jewish relationship with their neighbors. The lessons for today themselves are a combination of memory and dreams, both processed in the same non- rational part of the brain, but the biochemical process is a little bit different.

There is a song from Lerner and Lowe's musical Gigi; “Ah Yes, I Remember It Well” as two characters remember shared events; but the facts do not always agree. The facts are different but the shared memories resonate with each other. Meaning in life is not made up of facts but of memories and dreams. As we try to make sense of the world we live in, our brain is active all the time, but not all that energy is about facts. When I try to make sense of my life; facts are much less important than dreams and memories. In the same way, the Bible is not a textbook, crammed with facts, but a book of meaning. At Church and Meditation we hear the words, but also hear the reading within the context of worship; worship is there when each breath is not a matter of bringing oxygen to the lungs but in bringing the sacred spirit to our souls. St. Benedict of Nursia had a prayer for listening to the Holy in everyday life.:

Gracious and Holy Father,
give us the wisdom to discover You,
the intelligence to understand You,
the diligence to seek after You,
the patience to wait for You,
eyes to behold You,
a heart to meditate upon You,
and a life to proclaim You,
through the power of the Spirit of Jesus, our Lord.

Earlier this week I was reading a prayer by Phillip Newell:

Celtic Spirituality and Nature.

"There is no creature on the earth

There is no life in the sea

But proclaims your goodness.

There is no bird on the wing

There is no star in the sky

There is nothing beneath the sun

But is full of your blessing.

Lighten my understanding

Of your presence all around, O Christ

Kindle my will to be caring for Creation."

"Wednesday Morning" in Celtic Prayers from Iona: The Heart of Celtic Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1997).

The prophet Ezekiel, is living in a time when he begins to hear good news that the people who have been in exile for decades, are being allowed to come home. In his imagination, the exiles were like dry bones, cut off from each other. Then he has a vision, a dream, where God takes him into that Valley of Dry Bones and in this dream he sees the bones come together. He sees them become a mighty army full of strength. He is filled with hope of being reunited as a people again and his vision, his dream, his active imagination gives him the strength to face a new future. In his dream, I think he can see the faces of those people who had been carried into exile years before when he had been a child. These were not strangers but people he loved. When we read scripture in the context of worship, we are invited into the imagination of the writer's worship; we are using that same part of the brain. The Bible was not written as a textbook but as a combination of memory and dream imagination within the context of worship.

When I was young I thought it was really important that people listen to me. As I grew up and started to work with people, I found that it was more important that I paid attention and really listened to what people were saying and how they were saying it. My first marriage ended in Divorce, because while I was being paid to listen to people to earn a living; I did not use that same skill when I was at home. We were so concerned with being “right”, we never really got around to deeper listening.

I thought about those years while I was preparing to write this reflection. When I think about things a lot, I write a poem to help make sense. This is the poem I wrote this week. It is an apology to my first wife, which I should have written more than a half of a century ago. She died a couple of years ago.

Apologies To My First Wife

The ear of my heart is paying attention

To that living unseen space between us,

Trying to withhold judgment as a plus,

To fully hear that, so deeper, dimension.

Which was not there when we only dialog,

With our scripts of memory in our hand,

Hitting all the notes of a long ago band,

When being “right” was “dog-eat-dog”.

With no real winners but only survivors,

Holding on to the ribbons won competing

Against one another; then self defeating,

Our relationship like drunk drivers.

It was so easy to blame you,

But it was also my blame too.

In my second marriage, I found out that it was a lot better to listen as well as share. Nadia Bolz Weber, Lutheran Pastor of the Home for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, wrote ; “Real love is when you let yourself be truly known . . otherwise it is just a pitching of personas which is only partially true.” The first five years we knew each other, we only saw the bad things in each other. The next couple years we saw a lot of grace in each other and then we got married. Pat and I even took some courses to lead groups of people into a deeper understanding of their dreams. The first thing we would do when someone would share their dream was to be still and to be ready to enter into imagination where we might be able to claim their dream along with the members of the group, not for therapeutic problem solving, but to experience the spiritual meaning of the dream as an unopened letter from God. The Dream was treated not as a problem to be solved, but as a message shared in a community, to be shared so that each person might respond in the ways they heard it.

In the Lesson from the Acts of the Apostles, we are not sure we are dealing with a pure memory of a factual historical event, or as an event of a dream of imagination. The writers of the Books of Luke and Acts are not all that interested in facts but in meaning. The story from Acts for today is about how a community is born out of people who are different from each other, but there is a connection of love in the space between them. It is paying attention, as St. Benedict of Nursia reminded us to,“Listen, attend with the ear of your heart.”

I use a special word when I call a community of people who are different from each other but bound by a strong connection of love in the space between them and listen with the ear of their heart. I call that community a church, a body of Christ. That is why I show up at church! I have an adequate retirement and don't desperately need a check or an attendance certificate. I come to, “Listen and attend with the ear of my heart.”

Sing To The Lord A New Song

 

Reflection for Sixth Sunday of Easter                                      Church of the Holy Trinity, Hertford, NC May 5, 2024                                                                             Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Celebrant

Acts 10:44-48         1 John 5:1-6      John 15:9-17         Psalm 98

Sing to the Lord A New Song

“Sing to the Lord a new song, *for he has done marvelous things”, is the first verse of the Psalm we have for today. I was reading a translator of the Psalms; who said that the writers of the Psalms wrote the Psalms with their eyes open. I grew in my faith with the Hymn using that one of those Psalms, it is one of favorites because it allows me to bellow: “Earth and All Stars; loud rushing planets- Sing to the Lord a New Song!” Except, I was not asked to sing an old favorite, but to enter into a new relationship with a new song. So, this last Monday I made the decision that I would sing a new song. A blog I read faithfully every day is by Tom Ehrich, a retired Episcopal Priest and consultant which a church to which I was a Pastor had once used to help us. On Monday's Blog, Tom mentioned a song: "God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Since I had decided I needed to sing to the Lord a new song, I looked up the song and it was written by John L. Bell, a Church of Scotland minister with the Iona Community, and he uses a South African tune, Themba Amen. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. I listened to it and I started to sing it, over and over again as part of my Prayer. I thought about myself and had to remind myself, that no matter how many times I fall short , God welcomes me. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing To the Lord a New Song. I thought of people with whom I have real problems. One of them just runs me ragged in anger about him whenever I read whatever he says as reported by the press. God welcomes him. I wanted God to stop me praying for him in song; but after a while I sang with him in mind. Whoever he is, that is his problem; I may continue to disagree with him; BUT I don't need to make him my problem. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. I used to have a big house, but when I retired it just was too much to keep up. So, I sold the house and bought a small condo in a couple buildings of a total of forty units that has a relationship with a management company to take care of problems. I attended a meeting of the Owner's Association, which can have tense relationship with the management company. For my sins, I agreed to be elected to the board and at the first meeting last month, I was Shanghaied, when I was elected President. Abraham Lincoln said something like I felt at that moment. He said:“I feel like the man who was tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. To the man who asked him how he liked it, he said: ‘If it wasn’t for the honor of the thing, I’d rather walk.’” I am going to need lots of help: God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. At that first meeting I had already grumbled and pointed out things to the Management Company's representative, harrumphing about damage caused by the nails holding down the shingles and boards; and those nails were rusting. Then a couple days ago, the management company representative's husband, who is a commercial fisherman, had an accident and was badly injured and taken to the hospital. I had to stop mumbling about the management company and lovingly pray for her and her husband. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. I thought of people who I knew who were going through illness, so I started to sing about them in my heart. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. I thought of all those in Gaza, the West Bank and in Israel. I thought of the time I was during my sabbatical in that area and the people I came into contact with in 1994, thirty years ago, whose names are no longer in this old man's memory. But they are in God's memory and love. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. This last Friday, I had been asked by the Jewish Community man who serves as their Worship Leader to participate in a Holocaust remembrance. Some of the Outer Banks Clergy joined me with their own lists of names. I was given a list of names of Jewish people who were slaughtered by hatred by people who called themselves civilized and Christians. I read my small list of names, part of page 1353, which in Nazi thoroughness included their full name, their age, the town and country where they were from, and where they died. It would have taken fifteen hours to read all the names. The first name I read was Gersh Mudrik, a 16 year old boy whose first name meant “Exile” or “Stranger”, who along with his parents, aged 45 and 41, and three siblings, 20, 11 and 7, were slaughtered. This is an account of the murders at Dalnik:

On the evening of October 22, 1941 Soviet saboteurs exploded a mine and destroyed the Romanian city commandant's office and killed the commandant, his entire staff, and several German officers. At noon the following day Jews of all ages and both sexes were taken to a local prison, from which they were taken the next day to Dalnik, several kilometers west of Odessa. On the day of their arrival a group of 40-50 people was selected. They were tied together with rope, and then thrown into a pit and shot dead. The remaining 5,000 people were put into four barracks - the men in three and the women and children into the fourth. The walls of the barracks had holes into which the barrels of machine guns were inserted. On October 24 the men in the first barrack were shot with these machine guns. When the perpetrators saw that this murder was taking too much time, they decided to seal the holes and windows of the barracks, poured gasoline into the barracks, and then set them on fire. The Jews who tried to break out of the inferno were shot down with rifles or killed with grenades. On that day and the next the inmates of two more barracks were murdered in a similar way. In the evening of October 25 the last barrack was blown up with dynamite. The perpetrators of this massacre were members of the 2nd and 10th Romanian Infantry Divisions.

In the massacres around Odessa, almost 80% of the region's 210, 000 Jews were killed. Antisemitism is so easy for people who identify as Christians and today we remember the Jews who are our brothers and sisters. These are the people; God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. I thought about my wife, who died last year, and who I miss every day. She was the person to whom I should have daily quoted the last two lines of Shakespeare's Sonnet 29 : “For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings / That then I scorn to change my state with kings.”

She loved me and she loved God with all of her heart. I have not really wanted to give her to God, I wanted to hold on to what ever I could of her. But, I had to remember she is with God and God welcomes her and me in my sorrow. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. How about you? Is there a friend of yours for whom you have love and is in your heart this day in silent prayer? Or do you have a person for whom you feel resentment or anger for what they had done hours, days, years, decades ago? Can you give them to God's love even if you cannot now forgive them. God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Sing to the Lord a New Song. You all know me long enough to know that I cannot sing, or keep a tune worth a damn. It is not worth a damn but it is worth a blessing. Can you sing with me? God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

God welcomes all, / strangers and friends. / His love is strong, / And it never ends."

Thank you. I needed that.