Attention, Attention Musr Be Paid

 

A Reflection/Poem for XVII Sunday after Pentecost                         September 15, 2024

St Luke's & St. Anne's, Roper and Grace Plymouth, NC                   Thomas E Wilson Guest Preacher

Proverbs 1:20-33                         Psalm 19    James 3:1-12                   Mark 8:27-38

Attention, Attention Must be Paid

Last Sunday I went to attend the Second Sunday of the new Priest at the church in Hertford. I had done some fill-ins, a couple times a month, for that church for a year until they called a new Rector. I called the new Rector and welcomed him and then asked permission to visit the church and him on his 2^nd Sunday, and take him out to lunch after the service.

He is different than I am, but I was not there to grade his performance, I was there to welcome him as the new minister to some people that I had grown fond of. I was there to share support and wisdom; wisdom without support is meaningless. It was his church and not mine. He was their Pastor now and I wasn't. So, part of why I was there was to trust their choice and to be able to leave; to leave the church alone so the new relationship could grow. Part of me did not want to go since I had accepted the invitation to fill in a couple days after my wife's funeral and I needed to do something to help fill the emptiness I had inside my heart. I was reminded of a quote from Therapist Marion Woodman whose books we had read when my wife and I had been doing dream work, She wrote: “It takes great courage to break with one's past history and stand alone”. Woodward also wrote “How we see ourselves determines what happens to us in our lives. If we do not respect and love ourselves that will carry over into our relationships and others will not respect us.”

I was reflecting on what a ministry of any church is, and I was also reading about Edith Hamilton, a scholar who translated and re-introduced ancient Greek and Roman Stories and myths into the last century and into common understandings of ourselves.I spend a lot of my life looking at ancient texts of my faith and try to translate them into 21^st Century American mindset. Robert Kennedy trying to make sense of his brothers deaths, was so enamored by Hamilton's books that he carried a copy of one of her books wherever he went. In a speech he gave, he said: “"Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago––to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world." In one speech he quoted Aeschylus from memory: “In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran Pastor in Colorado wrote about her wisdom about how to leave: “The truth is that we can only hold handfuls of life at a time and room must be made for what enters next. Maybe to live a human life is to lose everything while also gaining everything.”

In the Hebrew Testament lesson for today, the Spirit of Wisdom is like a mother who comes to the market place to warn her children of the need to hold onto the Divine Wisdom. “ For waywardness kills the simple,/and the complacency of fools destroys them; but those who listen to me will be secure/
and will live at ease, without dread of disaster.”

I am reminded of when I went off to college and my parents individually would set me down from time to time as the day to leave for college was drawing near, and they passed on their wisdom about how it was to leave what you knew and enter into an unknown future. Wisdom comes at the time of need when our old homes and our lives are changing.

In Mark's Gospel for today, Jesus is letting his disciples know that he will be leaving them, so that they will be able to live deeply into a new future with the Holy Spirit. Peter wants to hold tightly on to the present and desperately on to the past. Peter is rebuked because Jesus is speaking that the deepest wisdom is that he (and we) are called to give your (and our) life away in love.

This last week ,we remembered the events of terrorist attacks on 9/11; the death of so may innocent people. We keep trying to make sense in days after the 9/11 attacks in New York City. Prime Minister Tony Blair gave a speech honoring British victims that he ended with the final lines of The Bridge of San Luis Rey:, a novel written by Thornton Wilder in 1927 about the collapse of a bridge where five characters fell to their death. In the novel, the bridge is a metaphor for the path each of us take between life and death.

But soon we will die, and all memories of those five will have left earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead, and the bridge is love. The only survival, the only meaning.

This week, Deacon Joanna Seibert wrote about reflecting on Thornton Wilder's The Bridge Of San Luis Re. “Love is all we have to contribute to this life that will be lasting. Love is all we will carry with us into the life of the resurrection. Love is the bridge between these two territories.”

Decades ago, when I was so much younger I was acted in a play, “Death of a Salesman” written by Arthur Miller and I played the character of Willy Loman. In his introduction to the play, Christopher Bigsby wrote

Death of a Salesman had its origins in a short story Miller wrote at the age of seventeen (approximately the age of the young Biff Loman), when he worked, briefly, for his father’s

company. It told of an aging salesman who sells nothing, is abused by the buyers, and borrows his subway fare from the young narrator. In a note scrawled on the manuscript Miller

records that the real salesman had thrown himself under a subway train. Years later, at the time of the play’s Broadway opening, Miller’s mother found the story abandoned in a drawer.

But, as Miller has noted, Death of a Salesman also traced its roots closer to home. Willy Loman was kin to Miller’s salesman uncle, Manny Newman, a man who was ‘‘a competitor, at all times, in all things, and at every moment. My brother and I,’’ Miller explains in his autobiography, ‘‘he saw running neck and neck with his two sons in some race that never stopped in his mind.’’ The Newman household was one in which you ‘‘dared not lose hope, and I would later think of it as a perfection of America for that reason. . . . It was a house . . .

trembling with resolutions and shouts of victories that had not yet taken place but surely would tomorrow.’’

The part in the play; it was haunting because I was in my own life almost running in a race that never stopped in my mind. The play ends with a warning about such people running those kinds of races :

"I don't say he's a great man. Willy Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid. He's not to be allowed to fall in his grave like an old dog. Attention, attention must finally be paid to such a person."

In your life, in your family, in your neighborhood; is there someone for whom “Attention must be paid.”?

Today, my hope is that each of us will remember the wisdom that was shared in our lives and how we are able to hear that love that comes with the wisdom.

Attention, Attention Must be Paid

Decades ago, I played the character, Willy Loman;

a week on a stage, and for some years in my life,

I'd often find myself in his shoes and in his strife;

of course long before becoming a small theologian.

Today, usually I can try to find paying attention

to a wisdom, a power, much greater than myself,

speaking to me to pick up some books on a shelf.

to use as a path of prayer to a deeper dimension.

Or, to turn to friends in whom I'd have some trust,

to listen with the ear of a loving heart, and to speak

after thinking deeply, maybe from translated Greek,

a small peace might come from what we discussed.

It is what happens. when some attention is paid

and I am not alone while the fear begins to fade

Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover?

A Reflection and Poem for September 1, 2024                St. Luke's, Roper and Grace Church, Plymouth

15^th Sunday after Pentecost                                             Thomas E Wilson Guest Celebrant

Song of Solomon 2:8-13        Psalm 45:1-2, 7-10             James 1:17-27          Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover?

On May the 26^th, Jim, my sister Anne's husband, died after he had a hard illness, During his illness I had prayed for both Jim and my sister using standard ChristianTheological language and understanding of prayer. He grew up a Presbyterian, he married an Episcopalian, His sister and I were both Episcopal Priests. However, organized religion had lost meaning for him and he did not want a religious funeral and we respected his wishes. However, Irene, one of his daughters, who is a Buddhist, thought we should do a Buddhist ceremony of Thanksgiving for his life and for strength for his family in living the days ahead.

Fourteen months before, my own wife, Pat, died and the family had come to give me strength and to share their love. Eight days ago, I joined the family for Jim's service. One of the things I found out was, if you are an old man like me and when you attend a service at a temple and a very kind person, like the Rev. Shaun Song, rushes up and offers you a chair out of care for a visitor; take the chair.

While I hate to admit that I am really an old man, I went into denial and I made the excuse to myself that I wanted to show that I honored their traditions and so I proudly sat on cross legged on a pillow on the floor. So far so good. It is a quiet service with some chanting, and meditation. There is a moment when we are invited to come up, face Jim's picture and say a blessing or thanksgiving to him. You know the old proverb, “Pride goeth before a fall”? I was invited to come up and when I got up, I realized that my legs didn't feel any substance below my knee caps because of my attempt to deny reality, and I staggered backwards and fell down on the floor. It was not the most graceful way of my coming forward to thank Jim for loving my sister. My advice holds; if they offer you a chair; take the chair!

The Rev. WonGong So, the Buddhist Priest and dharma teacher, leading the service tried to help me in my humiliation. She was kind and loving to me and the family. She is the kind of person I would look for as a Priest for me. Her gentle and wise manner reminds me of a saying of the Buddha:‘Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.’

Let us start off at the beginning. Christianity and Buddhism are different, in that in Buddhism there is no God. No supreme being in charge of the Universe. Christianity believes in a Supreme Being which created the universe, and we believe in a Christ event that redefined our understanding of God, and in a Holy Spirit which guides our lives surrounding us with Grace. But, as a Hindu believer, Mahatma Gandhi warned us western Christians about our faith: “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” Frederick W. Schmidt, an Episcopal Priest writes about the need for faith growing out of belief : “I am not talking about some kind of soft social consciousness, never mind a body of political beliefs. Instead, I am referring to the capacity to look at the world around us through the eyes of God.”

As Grant Ethan writes:

Buddhism is a religion and philosophy that originated in India and spread throughout Asia. Unlike other major world religions, Buddhism does not have just one god, but rather includes a wide array of divine beings that are venerated in various ritual and popular contexts.

These beings are known as devas, asuras, yakshas, and nats.

According to Buddhist teachings, gods are not considered to be eternal and all-powerful beings. They are believed to be subject to the same laws of impermanence and suffering as all other beings.

In fact, the Buddha himself discouraged his followers from becoming too attached to the gods or seeking their help in achieving enlightenment.

The concept of God as the one and only supreme being, and not just one god among many, was just coming into acceptance among Jewish scholars about the time the Buddha was born. This God concept may not have ever reached him.”

Buddhism and Christianity are similar in that both urge us not to be concerned with our own ego. Both are about forming a relationship with a deeper dimension. Both are about loving yourself and others; about forgiving self and others, about caring for one's neighbor, about not being seduced with the outward temptations of prestige, wealth and social standing, about serving others and not ruling others. Both Buddhists and Christians hold onto the deeper truth in the verses in today's Psalm 15:

Whoever leads a blameless life and does what is right, *
who speaks the truth from his heart.

There is no guile upon his tongue;
he does no evil to his friend; *
he does not heap contempt upon his neighbor.

Buddhists and Christians would understand the verses of the Song of Solomon for today:

"Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away;

for now the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.

The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.

The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away."

The Buddhist and the Christian can claim common ground on the message from the Epistle of James for today;

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God's righteousness. Therefore rid yourselves of all sordidness and rank growth of wickedness, and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls.

But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act-they will be blessed in their doing.

If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless. (Faith) . . . is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

No Buddhist would object to the lines from the Gospel for today:

For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

I see the Gospel message lived out in my niece Irene that she put into deeper practice when she became involved in the Buddhist temple. She gave a talk there about how she was learning how to stop her inner chatter of what she “should do” and live into her name ,“Irene” which means peace. I envied her not wasting more years of her life. I was older than her when I learned to stop 'Should-ing all over myself.”

One of things I learned many years before is help people grow deeper into faith and not necessarily into being Episcopalians. I used to do volunteer work in Alcohol and Drag Abuse Treatment programs. Step 2 in the 12 step treatment programs is “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Step 11 is “Sought through meditation and prayer to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

I can say of the Rev. WonGong, she did not try to convert me; she ministered to me with her wisdom. She and I have started an exchange of notes as I was writing this reflection and poem. She always ends with the wish “Palms Together” letting me know she is praying for wisdom and peace for me. Her wish in one message was of encouragement: “I am sure there will be lots of joy in uncovering the wisdom within and all around you in the spirit of God.”

I would like to pass on her wisdom and Peace to you Episcopalians. While I would like you to go out in your neighborhoods and bring in new people into the congregations; your more important job, like the Good Samaritan, is to minister to your neighbor. You are not on this earth to approve of people; you are here, like she is, to honor others with your care, to help them into a deeper life. A Spiritual life is not nourished by looking into a mirror, but by seeing oneself reflected in a neighbor's eyes.

Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover

Walking in the door, seeing that they are different:

we'll focus on points in which we are not the same,

reassured our faith has a different shape and name

from each other, and we'll agree to be considerate.

Honoring one another's view of the same mystery,

which can't be reduced to the level of many phrases

strung together. Rather we sing each other's praises,

for attempting to live into a different loving history.

We struggle for centuries of living purposeful faith,

hoping for insight for one meaningful day at a time,

as we faithfully on this mountain of meaning climb,

for to hear what old ancestors said prophets “sayeth”.

It's a different day, when we'll not say we're right,

but we'll stop to see a fellow traveler in our sight.

Not Walking Alone

 

A Reflection and Poem for Pentecost Proper 16 B                            St. Luke's, Roper and Grace, Plymouth

August 25, 2024                                                                                Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Preacher

1 Kings 8:[1, 6, 10-11], 22-30, 41-43      Psalm 84       Ephesians 6:10-20      John 6:56-69

Not Walking Alone

From John's Gospel for today: “Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him. So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

The disciples are of two camps; those who can live with mystery that they cannot fully understand and those who decide they cannot live comfortably mystery; that which is beyond their control or understanding. Poet Mary Oliver wrote a poem of living with mystery:

Mysteries, Yes
Mary Oliver

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
   to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the
   mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
   in allegiance with gravity
      while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds will
   never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
   scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.

Let me keep my distance, always, from those
   who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
   and bow their heads.

The disciples who left Jesus did not understand who Jesus was. They had thought he was a religious man who had the opportunity to become a political leader and could be a leader to changing the government and the corrupt religious establishment. That was their hope, but he was not there to fulfill their hopes for a return to the past; he wanted them to change. He wanted them to look to the unknown future and know that the Spirit of the Risen Christ would be walking with them each step of their lives, even if Jesus would not be there in bodily form; they would never have to face the future alone

Gothic Horror author H.P Lovecraft observed, "The oldest and strongest emotion of (hu)mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." The disciples who left were afraid of the unknown future and so they walked away alone.

This last week I went to a series of concerts, these were the 10^th Anniversary of the Annual Surf and Sounds Chamber Music Series, sponsored by the Don and Catherine Bryan Cultural Series. I had done Hospice Ministry with Don and Catherine as they died, and since Don was an artist, he wanted to set up an endowment to keep the arts alive. It has been my pleasure to attend the annual series and in the beginning they were held at the church in which I was the Rector. My wife, Pat, and I got to know members of the Quartets and Quintets and one of the high points of our year was to attend and have a meal with them. Pat loved to attend and catch up with the artists. This was to be the first time I would attend without Pat and I felt so incredibly alone.

This year was also different because a young man, Tshombe Selby, who grew up in the Outer Banks was to be a special guest to sing with the quintet.. Tshombe performs with the Metropolitan Opera in New York City, but he brought in a whole range of types of music. The artistic highpoint was Ralph Vaughan Williams' settings for parts of A.E. Houseman's A Shropshire Lad. Breathtaking! Then I was caught with him singing:

XVIII
        
Oh, when I was in love with you,
         Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
         How well did I behave.
        
And now the fancy passes by,
         And nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that I
         Am quite myself again.

The theme of that poem is that his beloved has passed him by. I thought of how Pat was not with me anymore and I was far from being myself again. I longed for the past; when I needed to live fully in the present and move into a new future. Much later Tshombe sang two popular songs which really caught me, for they caught me where I was, off-balance, and they were about going deeper into the present moment to gather strength in having to face the future alone.

One of the songs he sang that night, accompanied by the Quintet, was, “You' ll Never Walk Alone”, a Rogers and Hammerstein's song from the Broadway Musical, Carousel, based on the play Liliom , of a carnival roustabout who dies and is allowed to come back in spirit to provide comfort to his widow and his daughter. The musical opened in New York City in 1945 during the last months of war on the German battlefields. Lots of brave men were dying and their wives and families were needing hope as they feared the telegram which might come from the War Department. This song was for those who faced an unknown future where they may have to walk on alone after they had known of what Mary Oliver was to write decades later, “How two hands touch and the bonds will/ never be broken.”

I have heard that song dozens of times sung by different people from Claramae Turner in the movie version and Shirley Jones and others singing it at the end of the movie. Outside the movie, there were so many others from Elvis Presley to Judy Garland , opera to country, rock to ballad, and so many people in between. You don't need to be a great singer to do justice to that song, but you have to have hope and love in your heart. The Liverpool England Football club's fans sing it before each match to pledge their loyalty with the team.

That evening I needed to hear that song. It was a gift to be reminded that while we cannot control the future, we are surrounded by God's love and we will never walk alone.

The other song that spoke to me about facing a future alone is the song “The Wind Beneath My Wings”, a song dealing about loss of a loved one and thankfulness about being able to go on alone by giving thanks for for the continued strength that was still available in the deepness of the relationship. I am one of those people who always aware that in the Christian tradition that the “Spirit of God”, the “Holy Spirit” is usually manifested in the “wind”, the breath from God. The last lines of the song are:“Thank you, thank you,/Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.”

The next night I went back to the concert which was held in the church I once served as an interim, partly because I still had work to do with the music that had given my soul light. I had to go back and find more grace to live with hope. Oh, and how we all responded. Time after time we jumped to our feet in admiration and applauded with our hands, throats and hearts. We were living in the last line of Mary Oliver's poem :

Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
   and bow their heads.

In the Episcopal Church service, we are called to leave our pews and exchange the Peace of God with each other as a preparation for being fed by the body and blood of our savior; later leaving the church building and doing the same with our neighbors. Hopefully doing it in the style as suggested by Mary Oliver: Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
    and bow their heads.

I am pretty sure that all members of this congregation has lived with loss in the present or the past, where the future looked daunting. Don't be afraid, for when we place our trust, one step at a time, one day at a time, in God's Holy Spirit, the Spirit of the Risen Christ he breathed on his disciples with God's spirit we will never walk alone and we will know the wind beneath our wings; as “How two hands touch and the bonds will/ never be broken.”

Not Walking Alone

Pat'll say; “You know, I love who you are!”

Lovers often say things to remind all of us,

we, as people of faith, we aren't hopeless,

for some strong family ties guide our star.

Now, I'm the oldest one who is still left,

who each day, has to wrap memories,

songs or any inspirational accessories,

together, tied up to give hope some heft.

Today my hope; I'll not be walking alone,

but surrounded by examples and stories

of those with faith of yesterday's glories,

so tomorrow, of acts I'll not need to atone.

Today, give me the strength to remember

your strength from January to December.

Often Visitor

A Reflection for August 18, 2024                   Grace Church, Plymouth, NC and St. Luke's, Roper, NC

15^th Sunday after Pentecost                           Thomas E Wilson, Guest Preacher and Celebrant

1 Kings 2:10-12; 3:3-14 Psalm 111 Ephesians 5:15-20 John 6:51-58

Often Visitor

Thank you for allowing me to be a visitor here again. I have come to you, time and time again – and I come as a person who does not have all the answers. I come as a person who is badgered by questions instead of answers. Last week, six days ago, was my wife's birthday; she was present in my heart, but fourteen months ago, she died. I was both thankful she had been so present in my life and at the same time, I was so empty because she was not with me to build new memories. I had to be content with glimpses of her spirit in my dreams and memories. I wrote a birthday poem about my love for her.

But, in dynamic tension, I had to pay attention to her absence. It reminded me of the Robert Frost poem “Acceptance” when he concludes by accepting;

Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be be.”

In the Hebrew Testament lesson for today, Solomon, King David's son grieving his father, the light of his life, has to come to grips that since his father died, the one from whom he expected all answers to come, was no longer available to provide the answers. God comes to him in a dream, and he talks with God. In his dream, God tells him that God will be with Solomon one day at a time. There is no 5 year plan, no Outline for the future, no perfect answers from the past; only the promise to walk with him one day at a time. It means that Solomon, like every King, or commoner, among us, with have to be listening each and every day to God's questions each and every new day.

If we read the paper, or watch the news, or live life more than half-aware; we see there are obscenities in life that we cannot come to grips with easily. We have so many questions, but we must listen to the deeper questions and provide tentative answers on day at a time. We understand there are so many things that are just outside our ability to fully understand. Victor Frankl, a Jewish Doctor and Psychotherapist posited that “meaning was the central motivational force in human beings.” He and his family were caught up in the obscenity of Hitler's Germany. He and his family were thrown into the insanity of the Concentration camps in 1942. He spent the next three years in four different concentration camps. His father died of starvation and pneumonia in the first, his mother and brother perished in the gas chambers, his wife died of Typhus in a third. He spent the rest of his life trying to make sense of living through that insanity. He wrote:

It is life that asks the questions, directs questions at us—we are the ones who are questioned! We are the ones who must answer, must give answers to the constant, hourly question of life, to the essential “life questions.” Living itself means nothing other than being questioned; our whole act of being is nothing more than responding to—of being responsible toward—life. With this mental standpoint nothing can scare us anymore, no future, no apparent lack of a future. Because now the present is everything as it holds the eternally new question of life for us. Now everything depends on what is expected of us. As to what awaits us in the future, we don’t need to know that any more than we are able to know it. (Victor Frankl, Yes To Life: In Spite of Everything, 33-34)

I visit with you but I do not know all the answers, I can only share with you the living one day at a time and having to depend on a power greater than our individual selves. Jesus said in today's Gospel lesson, the way forward is to each day eat of him, each day take the Spirit of the Living God into ourselves, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one millisecond at a time. We do not have all the answers, but we walk by faith, hopefully nourishing, one step at a time with God.

Carl Jung defined God, the daily bread we are offered every day, in this way:

"To this day, God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my willful path violently and recklessly, all things which upset my subjective views, plans and intentions then change the course of my life for better or worse.

"Without knowing it," he added. " man is always concerned with God. What some people call instinct or intuition is nothing other than God. God is the voice in side us which tells us what to do and what not lo do-in other words, our conscience."

Tom Ehrich, a retired Episcopal Priest, Writer and Consultant, who we used in one of the churches I served, writes a daily reflection to which I subscribe, read faithfully, and steal from shamelessly. His insights I have plundered, for I guess, more than three decades. Wednesday this week he wrote about being in Prayer with God:

Prayer doesn’t requite six hymns and every verse of every hymn in a relentless display of curated sound. Prayer can be sitting at the breakfast table and letting your head drop, your shoulders relax, your fists unclench, and let your mind be drawn to something outside yourself.   I think we tend to get in our own way, when all that God wants is to sit with us, weep with us, see the light shining through a drop of dew on a branch and not worry about figuring it out. (Tom Ehrich's Daily Meditation, August 14, 2024, Still, Small Voice)

I am your guest preacher today and when you leave this church building, I urge each of us, as Frankl mentioned, “we are the ones who are questioned by life”, to unclench your fists, go deeper than my words and take the spiritual body of Christ into each moment of your lives.

Often Visitor

Every church I enter is so full of fakes,

They're here for all the wrong reasons:

Like only coming if it's in good seasons,

Or sermons won't be about budget makes.

I know, because now I am one of those,

Who only want to come to again hear

Such things like I'm seen as one so dear,

Broken as I am, that I'm one God chose.

Chosen not because I am one really good,

Rather in spite of all my so many failings,

And numbers of times, bitterly in railings

Wanting to taste more sin as my daily food.

I show up because I am one of those fakes,

Who shows up often, praying love takes.

Pat Wilson's Birthday 2024

 

Pat Wilson's Birthday's 2024

Remembering you in the year you never knew.

Memories of those so many of the gifts I miss:

when I'd climb into bed, you'd give me a kiss,

wishing me good dreams to see with God's view.

Or, when I'd get up to make your coffee beverage

next morning, and you'd wake up to that smell

with a new day's joy of wonderful dreams to tell

each other, our dreams being a new day's leverage.

Or, when we would stand together at the door,

wishing each other the best of this gifted day,

knowing whatever morn held, we'd still pray

that all would be redeemed, blessing us more.

Or, when I would come home and we'd snuggle,

knowing our love would overcome any struggle.

"All Of It"

 

A Reflection for the 10^th Sunday After Pentecost             Thomas E. Wilson Guest Celebrant and Preacher

Grace, Plymouth, and St. Luke's Roper, NC`                            July 28, 2024

2 Samuel 11:1-15           Psalm 14.              Ephesians 3:14-21.                John 6:1-21

"All Of It"

When I looked at the lessons for today I saw a theme: “All Of It”.

“All of it!” In the Collect, I saw a message that with God's Message is that with God's help we can get through all of the garbage that life seems to throw our way sometimes. “ All of it!”

“All of it!” In the Hebrew Testament David the King wants all of it! What ever it is that his little heart, or whatever part of his body desires; he wants all of it. The story begins with the line,"In the Spring, Kings go out to war." David sends his troops out, but he himself doesn't go out to war. Because there is something else he wants. David has several wives and they have children. But he wants more. Much more to fill his appetite.

“All of it!” David's palace is the highest one of the city, because he wants no one to look down on him. He looks out of his windows and he can see everything that is going on in HIS City, it is not for nothing that it is called the “City of David.” He sets up his capital there on this Hill city, but one problem he has to deal with is that it is hard to get enough water. It will take another three centuries before a water Tunnel is built by King Hezekiah, as he prepares to resist an invasion, so that there will be enough water to get to the cities west side.

“All of it!” One day, David looks out from his perch over his city, and he watches Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, one his commanders taking a bath, purifying herself after her period. The author of this passage wants to point this out, to show that she was not already pregnant, since Uriah was away serving in the army. David looks at Bathsheba and he wants her. At first all he wants is a dalliance with her, what the British used the phrase, “a little slap and tickle”. After all he was King, King of the whole shebang of a country, and she should be honored that he picked her to solve his boredom. He assumed she would not tell her husband, after all Uriah was David's property as his general. David wanted both the husband AND the wife.

“All of it!” The problem is that Uriah was a man of honor. When David finds Bathsheba is Pregnant, he sends for Uriah to come home from the front. He tries to get Uriah to go home to his wife and resume marital relations so they could just declare the child's birth as “pre-mature”, as at 7 or 8 months. Uriah had made a pledge to be faithful to his call to war and he was a faithful man. And for his honor, he had to die, so David's dishonor would not be made known. David wanted it all. He would even go through a ceremony of adopting the child Solomon. David wanted to have it all. As William Steig used to say: “People are just no damn good!” And yet, our faith tells us that we are loved.

“All of it!” In Psalm 14, the Psalm for today, the 1^st line is; “The Fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God' ”. The author of this Psalm, some say it was David himself, has this moment where he see how we are all fools at one time or another and we act as if God is only a fable which our ancestors passed on to us. That Psalm is a perfect fit for David, Uriah and Bathsheba. It is the game we play when we say to ourselves, “Let us pretend that God, if there is one, is off, busy or sleeping, in a parallel universe and is easily confused.” A perfect fit for David, Uriah and Bathsheba and for me more times than I would like to think of.

“All of it!” Paul who know what it was like to be a scoffer of Christ and a beloved by the same Christ and even at the same time. When Paul writes to the people of Ephesus in today's Epistle, he assumes that all of us have the need for a strength greater than ourselves: a perfect fit for the Davids, Uriahs and Bathsheba's of this world and the Pauls, Disciples and Saints of our acquaintance and for those of us who fit into both camps more than we would like to admit. C. S. Lewis’s view of prayer is that we pray not to change God, but to change ourselves. As Paul writes: “Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

“All of it!” In the Gospel lesson for today, Jesus is working and more people show up than expected. There is not enough money in their treasury to buy enough food for all . So Jesus takes what is given, all that a young boy has he gives away, five loaves and two fish and breaks it and distributes it to all. Every one is fed and there is enough left over to fill 12 baskets. All of it is given and yet, there is more than enough left over.

“All of it!” This story is a prelude to a story that comes later in the Gospel when Jesus is taken and broken and set on the cross to die. There were so many times Jesus could have taken a different path, but he does what he does with the feeding of the multitude. Jesus has a meal with his disciples where he take and blesses the bread and breaks it giving it to his disciples as an outward and visible sign that this will be done to him. He will be taken by the authorities and ripped with a lash and broken on the cross and given for all the world,. All of it! Every breathe he has, he uses to forgive his tormentors, his companions, his disciples. He dies and in the Resurrection he gives his spirit to all who come to him; not drips and drabs, but all of his Spirit. His spirit, all of it, is in each one of us; if we open ourselves to receive it. The power to forgive; all of it, is given to each one of us so we and the people who we have harmed and the people who harmed us can enter into a new relationship of love; all of it!

“All of it!” Love is not based on approval or merit, but of a decision that is made to love; come what may. We are in a place of history when we wonder what will come next and what is left for all of it and all of us.

“All of it!”When I started to think about this reflection, I began with my own experience with love between me and another human being. In my first marriage which ended in divorce; I was 21 and we went into it with how we could each benefit. By the time came for me to enter a second marriage, my focus changed to how I could give all of myself and accepting and caring for all of her.

“All Of It!”

When younger, I went into a relationship,

Holding back and didn't give all of myself;

Fearing, I'm afraid of losing my very self

When I did enter into a deeper partnership.

I held the other one at distance and at bay

For fear of being swallowed into a mass,

Which only just looked as a nice romance.

It did finally end, one long expected day.

Then I learned what this “love” was liken,

Giving all of myself, accepting all of her,

Giving freedom to each new moment there,

Growing into each new day of deeper ripen.

Even after her death, I still remember it all;

We were blessed, in every moment I recall.

Ignorance In Asking

A Reflection for the 9^th Sunday After Pentecost     Thomas E. Wilson Guest Celebrant and Preacher

Grace, Washington, and St. Luke's Roper, NC`       July 21, 2024

Ignorance in Asking

        2 Samuel 7:1-14a         Psalm 89:20-37         Ephesians 2:11-22.          Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

This is my first time preaching here at Roper and Plymouth on a Sunday morning and unless I am told never to return, I will be back next week. I visited both churches at least a decade and a half ago The purpose of that visit? I was supposed to ask you what your ministry was in these places, what help you needed and what kind of vision you had for the future. I was on the Stewardship Committee and the Executive Board of the Diocese and one of the unstated reasons we were visiting was to shake churches down for more money for the Diocesan budget. I was supposed to ask you what your ministry was in these places. Sometimes the answer was something like “to get through this year in the black ink!”

Often when I write a reflection, I try to put my thoughts into a poem , often a sonnet format. The rhyming sequence and number of lines, forces me to look deeper and open up new thoughts. This is my poem for today on how I should have approached you so long ago and how visitors may want to ask you now to answer.

Ignorance in Asking

I was supposed to ask what you were doing?

I should have been asking who you were?

What were those things giving joy here?

What loving mission were you reviewing?

What is getting in the way of finding joy?

Who now works with you hand in glove?

What do you do to grow in deeper love?

What nature of prayer do you best employ?

How I can I more fully learn from you?

Can you teach me how you like to dance?

Can you give this clumsy person a chance?

Is laugher allowed to ring deep and true?

Lead me behind your Prayer Book facade,

Allowing me to see into your heart's God,

This week, I am especially interested in the lessons from Tract 1 in the Sunday lectionary. Tract 1 is an attempt to get Episcopalians to open their minds to the fullness of scripture. We are in Year B right now and the lessons in the season after Pentecost are from the Davidic Covenant and Wisdom Literature This week and next week we are finishing up the David Cycle. This week David is getting bored and wants something to do. In his boredom, he thinks about the glory he so loves. He suggests that he take on the task of building a Temple for God to dwell with God's people. Nathan, the prophet, who is usually a “Yes” man on which to be counted, says, “Sure go ahead!” But, with David, God sees the vanity behind his desire to build; so God talks to Nathan and tells him to withdraw the building permission.

Building buildings is something that has a part of ego and pride that goes along with it. In my 36 years professional career as a Parish Priest, after my mid life crisis sent me to seminary, I found myself in the building of additions at 2 of the 3 churches I served as Rector. There was more than a touch of my hubris in both of the building projects. My time would have been better spent in helping to build faith in the hearts of my parishioners and community. But it is a ego rush to approve plans to more than double the size of the old building and to raise money. I am so happy that I am not in the church building business and now limit my enthusiasm in help people to grow deeper in their faith rather than increase church square feet and budget.

David does not take the news well of not doing the surefire building routine and searches for a way to deal with the boredom of being a King. Charles Baudelaire, a 19^th Century French Poet, hopeless Romantic and drug addict, saw all the evil of the world as born in a place described as: “An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom'. Next week, we will see the story of David and Bathsheba as David finds new ways to feed his ego. I have found boredom comes to me when I have no vision except for ways of getting my ego desires met. Usually I end up going nowhere fast. Boredom is not conducive to growing deeper in faith but in killing the time. My task out of the boredom is not to find ways to escape the boredom, but to embrace the boredom and go deeper.

Neel Burton, a British Psychiatrist, in his article “Surprising Benefits of Boredom” writes:

Schopenhauer said that boredom is but the reverse side of fascination, since both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other. So instead of being outside a situation, learn to get inside it, however hard this may be.

In The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh advocates appending the word "meditation" to whatever activity it is that you find boring, for example, "waiting in an airport—meditation."

Or, to bring it to the present moment; if you are having trouble following this sermon, you make this a moment to enter into this as a meditation. You can call it “Sitting in my church - meditation”.

When Paul writes the letter to the Ephesians; he does not see the people as strangers who need to be made helpful to the larger institutions, but to claim a kinship with all the other Christians in “whom you also are built together spiritually into a dwelling place for God.” The purpose of ministry is not to be God's helpers in doing church work, but in being dwelling places for God in every day life. God is not the guest on Sunday morning who graciously listens to a well done performance; but God is the spirit in every breath we take. God is not in the words but in the heart beats, and in the silence in which we can actively listen to each other between the notes of every song line or prayer phrase.

In the Gospel lesson for today the disciples are exhausted by the amount of work that they were able to do in preaching and healing. Now, Jesus tells them to go off by themselves so they might reflect deeper into what had been done by them so they might understand what was happening to them. They were not heroes in and of themselves; what they were doing was emptying themselves out of all their own ego to be aware that it was God's power which was released through them to bring about healing.

I noticed something this week. My sister, a year and a half younger than I, from Chapel Hill, was visiting me part of this last week. In the last fourteen months both os us have lost our spouses. We know what it is like to love and lose; and yet keep the love we had so freely been given. One evening, we turned on the tube and the the film version of the Rogers and Hammerstein musical, “South Pacific” was playing. I saw that movie first more than a half century ago and over the years I have seen it several other times as well. But, I found myself singing, under my breath, parts of the lyrics of so many of the songs. My sister laughed; I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but the lyrics riddled my consciousness. I no longer just listened to lyrics but I was more aware of the message that love crosses many boundaries to bring healing. As the lyrics came back to consciousness, I was more aware of the divisions we are living with in this country with the politics of hate. How easy it is to sing songs, but if we are very lucky, the songs enter our ears and into our hearts and souls, to sing, and live, the songs in our lives.

We spend a lot of time in church singing, but what is the song that God is singing to you and me today? The disciples of Jesus heard Jesus speak to them but it was God's song and lyrics that he and the disciples were singing.

What is God allowed to do in this church; or to and through, each one of us? What are the steps to God's dance here with you.