For a number of years, the O' Brians, Wilsons and Secules would meet once a week for dinner and a time of honest spiritual sharing and laughter. The three Toms would meet and Kay, Pat and Beth would meet for spiritual check ins. It was a way of keeping spiritually sane.
Poem and Reflection for the life of Elizabeth (Beth) Humrickhouse Secules
On the Occasion of a Celebration of Her Life All Saints, Southern Shores, NC
December 18, 2021 Thomas E Wilson
The Woman With The Smile In Her Voice
I first met Beth Secules in the spring of 2003 when I was serving at a Parish where I had promised I would stay at least 5 years. That deadline had come and so I polished up my resume, updated my file at the Church Deployment Office and cast that bread upon the waters. Pat and I did visits to other places, but after many discouraging months it dawned on me that God maybe wanted me to remain where I was as my time in the wilderness.
Then, I got this inquiry from a church on the Outer Banks, asking me to respond in writing to a series of questions. Without enthusiasm, I wrote my answers down and sent them back. Soon came a phone call from a nice lady who wanted to set up a phone interview with the search committee. The night of the scheduled interview, I mixed my Martini and waited for the call.
The Committee was apparently sitting at a table with a speaker phone at the center of the table, sometimes I could hear some of them lean across the table in order to speak louder. Each member spoke, somewhat loudly, towards the microphone as I wrote each name and a comment of the voice on a chart.The chair had a solemn voice suggesting this was serious business. I wrote his name down on a chart, “Jack Mann” and “Chair” and “Serious” as he introduced himself. Some voices were all business- “this is a important job”, they seemed to say by their tone. Some seemed kind, a couple were tired. Then, this soft welcoming voice with a hint of a smile purred that her name was Beth and I could almost hear the “L” sound in her last name, which I later learned was Secules, but I wrote down Beth -dash- L.
I looked at the words, sounded out as “Bethel” and I remembered that Jacob in the Hebrew Testament where he awakens from his dream and says “Surely this is “Bethel - the place where God dwells.” “Bethel”, and that David comes from the town of Bethlehem and where Jesus was born in that place named “The place of Bread.” I write down “bread” and “dwelling of God”. My hearing of this word is what Carl Jung called a “synchronicity”- “where circumstances that appear meaningfully related yet lack a causal connection”. I call them God moments. That was the moment I relaxed, when I realized that this was a time I was going to be fed with God's presence. This was not just a job interview but a holy space. The ice melted in the leftover martini, for I had all the spirit I needed. Beth asked a question about a flippant answer I gave to one of the written questions. She asked because she was interested in knowing me beyond the inadequate answer that I had written.
Months later, during the in person interviews at the Outer Banks, I met the woman behind the voice with the smile. That smile was not just in her voice or on her face but in her whole being. At the end of that round of interviews as Pat and I were to head back to the other church, we were given a small loaf of homemade bread, which was the practice the church had for visitors to the church; another God moment slid into place. This was a place where the Bread of Christ was not in short supply.
We returned to accept the calling, buy a house and make a home on the Outer Banks. I should say we made many homes in that parish and the Secules house was such a home where we felt at home with the woman with the smile in her voice and her beloved Tom.
We did not know her when she was a teacher, dealing with difficult students, or Coach Secules' wife cheering him and his teams on. I think the smile was in her voice even in what might have seemed defeats. For her, every challenge bravely faced was a victory no matter the score.
That smile in her voice was especially there whenever she finished talking with her children or their families on the phone; even when she asked for prayers about what they might be facing in their lives. The only time I did not hear the smile when she and Tom reacted to the news that their son did not have his contract renewed from his Pro-football team. You could do anything to them, but you do not mess with her kids! The smile returned as she and Tom called their son to give him encouragement.
That smile was in the voice even when she was facing trying times, like when she would head up the baked goods tables at the madness of the annual Holly Days Bazaar. Her room was indeed “Bethlehem” -a place of bread and cookies and cakes and scones and so much more. It had Beth's smile.
That smile was in her voice even when her tears came with the coming of her illness, even when her tears came when her beloved Tom was dying, even when she herself was at the hospital on the last day of her life. The smile was not about a cozy happiness but about joy. Happiness is when circumstances combine to make life easier, but joy comes from an ingrained sense of thanksgiving. No matter what this world throws at us, we can choose to respond with a joy in thanksgiving for God's presence and strength given. I translate Psalm 30:5 as:
“While desolation endureth but a moment;
Beth, the woman with the smile in her voice, understood that resurrection is not only what happens after we die, but is also what happens each day as we live into an abundant life every day of our lives on earth. We come together today because we still want to hear an echo of the joy of that smile in her voice in our hearts.
The Woman With The Smile In Her Voice
Writing down “Beth” to a disembodied welcome,
meaning what? A dwelling place for God or bread?
Yet, she seems to be really listening to what I said,
which I hoped would continue in the weeks to come.
Finally, I met the woman behind the embodied smile,
which even persisted underneath rounds of chaos
beyond our control, but not beyond Holy presence,
giving her strength through journeys of many a mile.
How fortunate we were, we recipients of love given,
even when we did not deserve it, for love was a gift
freely given, not based on approval or relation's rift,
but flowing before we're even asking to be forgiven.
Hearing a smile in any voice is a proof we can tell,
when someone has lived and loved fully and well.
