Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Gathering 2018: A reflection on old friends meeting

The Gathering 2018
Slowly flows the Chenango, past where the old men
once swam as boys, emptying into Chesapeake Bay,
near where once lads chose to save and spend the day
to empty old/new stories about it had been long when.
The legend talks kept on coming right and left with
some differences of memory between the old males
and joint eyeball rolling among the listening females
while seeing dead wine soldiers dropping 5th by 5th.
The tone of the meeting shifts to remembering loss
of other friends and family and how they're loved,
operating with surgical precision, hand and gloved,
so that tears wouldn't come to pass as evening's boss.
They laughed lots, thanking God for time well spent,
and how blessed they had been for what years meant.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Elephant Seat Pentecost Poem


Was at a meditation circle last evening and an Elephant Seal showed up in my meditation. Elephant Seals are an animal that I have used as a way of understanding my connection to the larger creation. Their bodies are awkward on land and they spend much of their energy protecting what they think they rule. However, it is when they dive into the water that their body adapts to swim and survive for hours at a time in the great depths.



Pentecost 2018
The Elephant Seal came last evening to guide
me dealing with friend with lab tests not good,
and how the kids are told, that's if they should
and another friend whose mother had just died.
The elephant seal stood with head proud, erect
on an empty beach where once happily he ruled
but not now; new ways he'd need to be schooled
on how being friends without a trying to protect.
The elephant seal did not bellow but whispering
to follow him, changing our breathing and heart,
swimming deeper beneath the tides, so to depart
from the old role of being only way ministering.
Oh wind, start blowing open doors this Pentecost
so Spirit can help re-image new paths, not as lost!

Friday, May 11, 2018

Renewal of Vows


 
Reflection for Ascension Day 2018
Renewal of Vows
Yesterday, eleven days from my last day of work as the Rector of All Saints and ten days since the beginning of my retirement, I drove alone two and a half hours each way to attend a diocesan service of Renewal of Ordination Vows. It was a time to remember the promises we Priests made when we were ordained and entered into a different order of life. The last line from the Ordination Vows after the answering all the things that “I will” do, is the Bishop saying; “May the Lord who given you the will to do these things give you the grace and power to perform them.”

At the service Bishop Skirving preached and presided. His sermon had a few moment on how the disciples, looking up into the sky, like in Dali's painting of the Ascension, moving away from their sight, had to make the transition from living with Jesus being with them in the flesh and the Risen Christ living with them fully in the Spirit in their daily life together.

Looking up to the sky” triggered my remembrances of going to see the Total Eclipse of the Sun last year and how it was a metaphor for my retirement. There is a long lead up to the Total Eclipse- you know it is happening but you treat it like clouds just passing over – until that moment when the totality is achieved. The darkness is eerie as all sound stop- the birds stop singing in awe as did the people around us. It is a time when no words work and for a few moments it is a collective intake of Holy Breath. Like all moments of awe there are hints of awful. When the light comes back slowly, there is an awareness of the brightness of everything and how precious it all is.

I found retirement like that; while having known for months that the day would come I was not really fully prepared for the moment the birds would stop singing. While no longer employed by a church, I was still a Priest even though my thirty-four record of fully and faithfully performing those vows was at times more spotty than I had hoped on that day in 1984. I remember the day after the Ordination to the Diaconate how empty I felt entering into that state of being and worrying how I might have made a mistake and I wasn't up to the Call I had heard years before. That darkness passed and I had to keep returning to the Light over and over again.

The first day of my retirement I had that same empty feeling like a cavity inside me of the unease of faithfully living as an Ordained Person in retirement without the structure of a job to help keep me faithful. The feeling passed as I am coming into a deeper awareness of what my Call might look like in this time and place of my life. My prayer for today is “May the Lord who given me the will to do these things give me the grace and power to perform them.”

Retirement
Renewal of Vows with Bishop preaching
Ascension; remembering transition times
no longer old being but becoming signs
of God pulling us into deeper searching.
Reminded me of watching eclipse of sun,
knowing a darkness will be coming soon
but then all the birds stopped singing tune
as awe filled dark emptiness began its run.
Later light came, highlighting new meaning
seeing all as gifts, ready to be again blessed
to be used in so many ways I never guessed
as old beings gathered up in divine gleaning.
New retirement moved from being my plight
of darkness to new meaning God does plight.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Poem on Retirement April 22, 2018


Rector Saying Goodbye
Five thousand, four hundred days abiding
as brothers/ sisters in shared sacred space
seeing into each other's souls face to face
even during three thousand times presiding.
Sunday I'll give you back keys to the door
which you'll bestow on the one following;
s/he'll then lead you in your holy offering
to the divine and neighbor in peace or war.
I'll give you back the Rector's cross I wear
given me by the Vestry of some years past
and the record books of services amassed
but I'll never give back memories we share.
I'll give a key as sign that I did find apart:
nothing in church it fits except my heart.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

What Is There To Prevent Us?


A Reflection for the V Easter             All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, NC   
April 29, 2018                                      Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Acts 8:26-40                  1 John 4:7-21                 John 15:1-8          Psalm 22:24-30

What is there to prevent us?

A couple of weeks ago I attended a service of Yom HaShoah with the Jewish Community of the Outer Banks, a Holocaust remembrance service held close to the annual anniversary of the uprising of the Warsaw Ghetto in April of 1943. The uprising failed but it is a reminder of the need to actively stand against any kind of hatred masquerading as “business as usual”. Never again do we go down the road of letting hatred rule our lives.

At the service we light the candles, listen to the poems, hear the high school students read their prize-winning essays about the current rising wave of Anti-Semitism in a contest sponsored by the Ministerial Association, read a couple hundred names of the six million who were slaughtered, and we say the Mourners’ Kaddish. The Kaddish is said at most services, but especially it is an act of mercy to say to say it in the name of a person after they have died. It is not about death but about helping the person who has died say “Amen” to God. It is a mitzvah, a good deed done in connection to God. In the Hebrew tradition there are 613 mitzvot, and therefore, at least 613 ways to connect to the Blessed One. It goes:
Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will.
May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.
May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

What is it like to say “Amen”?

When I was a child, I watched the Warner Brothers cartoons and at the end of each of them, the figure of Porky Pig would burst in the center and say, “Th–th- th- that’s all folks”.  That is what I grew up thinking that was a translation of “Amen” at the end of a prayer: “That’s all folks!”

Later I came to understand that Amen meant that I was saying “So be it”, “I agree”, “Let me sign up for the plan, the hope, the mission.!” Amen is used in good times as well as difficult times. In successes we say “Amen” as a way of giving thanks to God. In failures we say “Amen” as a way of saying that God will redeem and forgive all things.

When I looked at the lessons for today I could see that they had in common a call for an Amen. In John’s Gospel lesson, Jesus is saying to his disciples that they must be connected to him as the branches are to the vine and abide in him as he abides in us, So be it. Amen. I understand that is the core of our reality, connection.

The Letter from the Elder  says that we cannot love God without loving our neighbor. So be it. Amen. We understand that our loving connections to Christ call for us to enter into doing at least 613 loving mitzvot for our neighbor or our enemy.

The 22nd Psalm begins with the cry, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me” which is the worst of times, but continues to hold on to the hope that “All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, * and all the families of the nations shall bow before him.”  The singer of the Psalm makes the pledge that the singer’s soul will continue to live for God; another way of saying Amen. It is the Psalm that Jesus sings while he is on the cross before he commits his soul to God. Amen.

The Ethiopian eunuch in the lesson from the Acts listens to Philip and then comes to the point of either saying “Well that is interesting; but no thanks” or make a decision to say Amen by entering into the waters of Baptism and re- entering into womb of God to be born into a deeper way of living. Philip’s work is done and the spirit takes him to another place where he can say Amen. There are always more places to say “A-men”

One of my favorite movies is the 1963 Ralph Nelson film, Lilies of the Field, where Homer Smith, played by Sidney Poitier, driving through the Southwest nowhere, comes across a group of German nuns, for whom he agrees to work to build a chapel. At the end when his work is done, he steals out of their lives while he is leading them in singing, the spiritual, “Amen, Amen, Amen, amen, amen.”

It is time for me to leave this church so that you will find a new Rector. What is there to prevent us from saying a Holy Amen to each other - Amen to the successes that God has given us the will to do, Amen to the failures we have known which we believe in the light of the resurrection will all be redeemed, Amen to the past, Amen to the present time to give thanks to God and you, Amen to the future where Paul promises, “God, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.” 

What is there to prevent us from saying “A-men?”

 What is there to prevent us?
Ethiopian Eunuch said; “Look, here is water!”,
which in a wilderness is cause to be surprised,
“What is to prevent me from being baptized?”
Running to embrace the future he did not falter,
even though by so doing, leaving Philip behind,
then returns to his Queen on his way rejoicing.
You and I are practicing our farewells voicing
shared memories of us making haste to be kind.
As the Spirit led Philip to different destinations,
so also am I  being led away onto another path
knowing that the love you shared with me hath
blessed with gracious joy all of my life situations.
Thank you for swimming in sacred water with me
now in diverse streams but flowing to a same sea.

Friday, April 20, 2018

God Listern To Us


A Reflection for 4th Sunday of Easter      All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, NC 

April 22, 2018                                           Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

God Listen To Us!


One of the things that I see in the lessons for today is a demonstration of leadership. It flows out of the imagery of the 23rd Psalm. In the Acts lesson, Peter becomes the Spiritual Father of the Jesus Movement, standing up for its healing ministry against those forces that seek to destroy it; he is the good Shepherd standing in the presence of the enemy so his Community will have no fear. The lesson from the Elder John is a reminder of what is expected of the Spiritual Teacher of the Community of Believers regarding how to behave with and care for each other, as the good shepherd who is anointing with oil and making sure the cup is filled for all. The Gospel lesson has the original model, Jesus, speaking of what is required of leaders following him, which is walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Some commentators believe the 23rd Psalm began as a poetic song of David, the King and the Ruler of Israel. David was a man with a checkered history of good and bad judgment during his reign, and he had cause to look at all the people he let down and the disastrous consequences of some his actions. One of the best things about failure is that it gives us a chance to learn from our mistakes. I think he wrote this song to remind himself how much he needed God in his life, and he passed it on to be a mirror for future kings who confuse their role as king with being independent of the Power greater than themselves. Good rulers need to know that just because you have the title doesn’t mean that every idea is a good idea.

In the Episcopal Church the title “Rector” comes from a word meaning “ruler”. I cannot tell you how many times I was in a clergy support group with a group of clergy who kept taking themselves so seriously with the “Rector” title that we had to warn them that a certain planned action was a result of their own ego instead of listening to God. Rectors, rulers, need to understand that they are vicars of Christ, serving vicariously in a parish as the Good Shepherd’s - Christ’s - Lamb to assist the ministry of Christ in that congregation.

The title “Pastor” comes from the Latin word for shepherd, the one who leads people, guides sheep into pasture and defends them from all enemies, which is what Jesus is talking about in the Gospel lesson for today using the imagery of the 23rd Psalm. But how we interpret the Shepherd image has a variety of options. I had a classmate from Australia in seminary whose image of a Shepherd was a yelling man on horseback cracking a whip accompanied by dogs snapping at the heels of the sheep to keep the herd in line. That image of a tough, sometimes brutal, taskmaster is not only to be found Down Under. Part of the history of the church had Warrior Popes, Bishops, and Priests keeping order for the sake of the concept of Christendom, as they defined it, by being strong advocates of political and societal viewpoints even to the point of war to kill the “enemies” of the church as heretics and infidels.

In the Episcopal Church as an example of that view of Pastor, we have the Rt. Reverend Leonidas Polk. He was born in Raleigh, educated at West Point Military Academy, and then attended Virginia Seminary. Upon graduation it was found he had never been confirmed, and therefore he was confirmed and ordained the next day in Fayetteville. He became a Bishop of Mississippi and was one of the founders of the University of the South at Sewanee, Tennessee where I attended Seminary. Polk resigned his Bishop’s office in order to become a general in the Confederate Army in the American Civil War for his friend and West Point classmate Jefferson Davis. The Leonidas Polk Memorial Society wrote in 2014: “When asked in Richmond if he was putting off the gown of an Episcopal bishop to take up the sword of a Confederate general, to which he replied, 'No, Sir, I am buckling the sword over the gown,'" indicating that he saw it was his duty as a bishop to take up arms.”

Davis continued to support Polk who was a popular general among the ranks of the Confederate Army, but was viewed by many of his fellow generals as genial but pompous, incompetent, refusing to take orders, and slow in implementing them. General Bragg called Polk “an old woman, utterly worthless”. In one battle, one of Polk’s subordinate generals urged his soldiers on by yelling, “Give ‘em hell, boys!” To which the Bishop/General, aware of his dignity, called out “Give it to ‘em boys, give ‘em what General Cheatham says”. Polk was killed in battle during the Atlanta Campaign on June 10, 1864.

The title “Priest” comes from the Old English and German Preost from the Latin Presbyter meaning the one appointed to act as an interpreter of the unknown mysteries and as a leader presiding over rites and rituals in ceremonies of connection with deities and spirits. They were descended from the Shamans, medicine men and healers. Priests were the ones who could confer and withhold blessing based on the worthiness of a person. There were some preachers who made their living with so-called “Crusades”, using hour-long sermons whose aim was to drive the sinner down to his knees with guilt, God’s condemnation, and visions of hell in the first 50 minutes in order to raise him up with Grace in the last 10.

There were others who were given a title of “Parson”, Old English for the weird person with a deep spirituality who could see things with different eyes and could speak God’s truth regardless of the convenient party line. Parsons believed that God’s love is not a reward for repentance from Original Sin, but that love is the hallmark of the original blessing in Creation and the incarnation of Jesus.

Many people call me “Father”, as they called Margaret, the founding Priest here, “Mother”. It is a title that is full of ambiguity. Many priests have had to deal with parishioners with father or mother complexes that were waiting for trapdoors to be sprung by “monstrous mothers” or “seductive fathers”. On the other hand, it is a name to be taken seriously by the person who wears the title. I remember years ago, a couple of churches back, when I had a parishioner who really did not like me, because he thought, correctly, that I was full of myself. He would address me frostily as “FAAAther”. I confronted him one day and said, “Why do call me “FAAAther” when it is a title of relationship?” He put me in my place by pointing out that, in the military, one salutes the uniform and not the man. This is where Pat came in helpful; she softened me a bit, and when I left the church, he still called me “FAAAther”, but it was his accent and the warm tone that I heard instead of the scorn I had imagined. We ended up seeing each other as beloved brothers in Christ loved gracefully by God.

There is also the title of “Preacher” in the role of teacher who have documents of authority issued by Seminaries and Bishops. However, true spiritual authority is not conferred by organizations, but rather is granted by parishioners who have found true worth in the relationship, allowing the Preacher to be a trusted soul friend.

In a couple of weeks you will begin the task of prayer for a new Rector for All Saints. It is important not to rush into making your decision based on what you would like to remain the same. It is the journey, not the destination, that is important. I know God has someone in mind for you, but your task is to enter into a prayerful search for the heart of God in this matter. I cannot be with you on this journey, but my prayers will be.

God Listen To Us!
Ruler, either Rector or Regina, is wanted
by us who we will choose over us to rule,
not like as if over naughty ones in school,
but will tackle our hard tasks undaunted.

We want a Pastor, in the Shepherd mode,
who’ll lay us down in soft green pastures,
keeping us safe from all fearful disasters,
leading us near where living water flowed.

We want one to function as our new Priest,
speaking God to us before we’d be scattered,
speaking to God for us all together gathered,
doing rituals for lives included and deceased.

We want one be a Vicar of your healing love,
demonstrating what forgiveness does look like,
oft in a real world between people who’ll fight,
over things that don’t matter; helps gets rid of!

We want one to be our weird one as a Parson,
who sees the divine in the overlooked ordinary,
feeling breaths of God calling us to the visionary
tasks of sharing grace with all and sundry person

We want one to address as Father/Mother
to turn to when things get somewhat rough,
assuring that we will have strength enough
relying on the Spirit’s strength and no other.

We want one to be a Teacher of the right paths
to inform us walking in faith of the ways of past
journeys made by our ancestors in feast and fast
seeing baptisms as commitments not just baths.

We want one to be our true most trusted friend
keeping all of our secrets, sharing joys and woes,
laughs or tears of stories of All Saints s/he knows
in our hearts, faithfully holding them to the end.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Doghouse Blues


A Reflection for 3rd Sunday of Easter All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, N.C. April 15, 2018 Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Doghouse Blues

From John’s 1st letter (3:7) “Little children, let no one deceive you. Everyone who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous.” How many of you always do what is right?

Sometime ago a friend greeted me and said “It’s nine o’clock in the morning and I am already in the dog house!” He then listed a series of offenses and slights that he had committed that had lowered the temperature significantly in the home he shares with his wife. I, of course, told him that I knew nothing about doing that in my own life. We had a good laugh over that because we both knew how flawed we both were and that our wives kept finding reasons to wonder what ever did they see in us to take the plunge and accept the proposals they received from us. We also knew what it was like to be on the giving end of the blame stick as we would sing in our minds the old spiritual “Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen./ Nobody knows but Jesus.” Yet here is the difference - we both knew that, while we (and they) could at times be annoying, we were loved and that love between us would survive. We would remember our vows and we would forgive and ask forgiveness in order to move our relations back to what the Bible calls “righteous”.

Righteous” in the New Testament is not about doing things perfectly but about being in a faithful relationship, or what is called a Covenant, with another where both sides make a commitment to love and honor one another. The commitment is held together as long as the partners in the covenant keep it alive and renew their commitment by word and deed. That is what we do in church

Earlier this month, on the 50th anniversary of his assassination, there were a series of reflections about the meaning of the life, death, and ministry of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and one speaker shared that in the African tradition a man is not fully dead until he is forgotten. If we forget Dr. King, we run the risk of forgetting the covenant for equality in this nation and the dreams for our nation’s wholeness.

The early church had to deal with the death of Jesus and so it told the stories of the man Jesus and the Spirit of the Christ as a way of keeping him alive in their hearts. We continue to do that every week and we remember and live into the covenant of God’s love, forgiveness and hope.

The Book of the Acts of the Apostle, from which we will be reading for the next several weeks of Easter Season, has a certain structure which will be repeated over and over again. There is first a challenge, a situation which needs to be addressed. Then there is a response by one or more of the apostles who call upon the Holy Spirit for guidance and help. Filled with the Holy Spirit, the Apostles respond to the challenge or situation. Then there is a sermon in which the Kerygma, the core of the Christian understanding, is retold. The understanding is the ministry of Jesus of Nazareth; his birth, death and resurrection has changed the world and the Spirit of the Resurrected Christ is alive and available to all who call upon his name. After the sermon there is a reaction by people or the authorities which will then set up another challenge or situation.

In this week’s lesson Peter and John, as they were going up to the Temple to pray, meet a lame beggar asking for alms. The situation is then set up as to how they were to respond to the brokenness of this world. Peter says, “Silver and gold have I none, but what I have I give to you”; he gives the lame beggar the Spirit’s gifts of wholeness and the beggar begins running and jumping and praising God. The beggar had been at the Beautiful Gate for years and was a well-known fixture, so when people see this sight, they started asking what was going on. Peter begins the Kerygma and says that the crowd also needs wholeness as well. They had been part of the crowd who had called for the death of Jesus; they had allowed their leaders to do the murder. Peter tells them that he wants them to be in a righteous relationship with God and assures them of God’s forgiveness. For Peter, it is more important to be in a righteous relationship than it is to be right.

In the Gospel lesson from Luke, the body of the dead Jesus is not there, but the women who have come to anoint the dead body meet two men in dazzling clothes who tell them that the Lord is Risen. The women tell the disciples who think the women are just being hysterical with wishful thinking and dismiss their witness. It is only later when the two men who have met the Risen Lord on the road to Emmaus run back to tell them that they had seen Jesus and recognized him in the breaking of the bread. Even though the witnesses were men, the disciples are still disbelieving and wondering what is going on. In the middle of the disbelief, Jesus comes to be with them, bringing his Peace with him. He does not waste time blaming them for not believing, but he sits down to have a meal with them. This is the expectation of what goes on in a Christian community. The community knows that that center of their faith does not make sense; it cannot be understood by rational argument but only by righteous relationship of immersion in a community that shares God’s Peace, eating together at meals as if Christ was there whenever two or three are gathered together in the breaking of the bread and committing to grow deeper in the faith, to give what they have to the broken world in which the Risen Lord’s Spirit still lives.







Doghouse Blues
Morning at nine, and he’s already in doghouse!
Living together with one another really is rough,
but doing this whole mindreading thing is tough
on mere mortals like a friend, parent or spouse.
Forgiveness isn’t only reserved for the big stuff,
but for petty misdemeanors of an everyday life
scraping away like a sandpaper gloved midwife
trying to do a life giving act with a snarling gruff.
They bump into each other, on her toes he’ll trod.
Without thinking, she reacts with one more carp
added to long litany of the past offenses in sharp
relief demonstrating how much he is so flawed.
Fore the sun goes down, they’ll recall that above,
beneath, between and through lives forgiving love.