A Reflection for XV Pentecost (Proper
19) All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, N.C. September 17,
2017 Thomas E. Wilson, Rector
One of the temptations on
the Outer Banks is to spend time being annoyed with the summer
visitors who flood our shores. When I get caught in a traffic jam, or
have to shop in a massive crowd, or cannot get into a favorite
restaurant, there is a temptation to judge them. I have to remind
myself that they are here for the same reason I am here - because
this place gives life and meaning as we are the edge of the earth in
awe of the great ocean. I forgive them for what they are not; they
are not the reason for my annoyance. My annoyance comes from my
selfish desire to be in control of the universe, to be God. That
attempt at forgiveness helps me to take life in perspective.
From the Psalm for today:
“As far as the east is from the west, * so far has the LORD removed
our sins from us.” God forgives, but what keeps us from forgiving?
Maybe we think that the sinner doesn't deserve it, and lots of people
use that excuse. In the Gospel lesson for today, Matthew remembers
Peter trying to get a pass on forgiving by asking Jesus, “Lord, if
another member of the church sins against me, how often should I
forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven
times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” That seems to answer
the question, but Matthew remembers Jesus telling a story about what
happens when someone refuses to forgive.
This story fits neatly with
the passage for today from Paul in his letter to the Romans. Paul
was emphatic: “Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister?
Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all
stand before the judgment seat of God.” Yet even after Peter gets
the word and Paul underlines it, we church folk still have trouble.
The French Philosopher Voltaire was returning to Paris in 1778 and
the 83 year old man, thinking he was dying, wrote: “I die adoring
God, loving my friends, not hating my enemies, and detesting
superstition.” When he dies three months later, the church refuses
to let him be buried in consecrated ground since he had refused to
renounce his criticisms of the organized religion.
Forgiveness has nothing to
do with the other person's deserving. Forgiveness is a process we go
through. It begins with the hurt we suffer. It has to be a real hurt,
not a slight of pride. If there is no harm, we just have to suck it
up because the chair of the job of center of the universe is already
taken. The hurt has to be inflicted deliberately and intentionally
and not an accident, because – grow up - accidents happen and
forgiveness is not necessary. If you can understand it, then
understand it and get over it and forgiveness is not necessary. If
the harm can be excused, then excuse it. If you can get over it; then
get over it, and forgiveness is not necessary. Your choice then is to
either forgive or not. If you decide to forgive, you need to confront
the person who hurt you, if possible and it is safe. If the person
has died or it is not safe, then the following conversation can be
done with an honest act of imagination of a conversation with an
empty chair. Give a behaviorally specific description of the even(s)
and tell him or her how you feel about the hurt and that you want to
forgive them. This is part of the act of loving an enemy-- love does
not mean approval.
If, however, you refuse to forgive him or her
because they don't deserve it and you want to pout for a while until
they beg for forgiveness because you are sending messages of
disapproval, then you are stuck. You see, forgiveness is only
necessary as a last resort, but if you refuse to forgive before they
ask, then you chose to enter the darkness of hate and live with it
until you can't stand walking around with all that hate anymore. Some
people like to stay there feeding the hate because this gives them an
excuse to keep throwing a pity party and lying to themselves about
the responsibility of their choice. But when you are ready to ask God
for the healing of the hate which you have chosen, you turn it over.
Sometimes you have to keep turning it over to God to go through the
rest of the process. You might not be able to enter a new
relationship of full reconciliation, but that is beyond human pay
grade.
The Exodus story for today
is the end of a story of a guy who just could not forgive, the
Pharaoh of Egypt. We don't know who this Pharaoh is, but much of the
popular culture want to make that Pharaoh Rameses II. Rameses II was
the third ruler of the XIX dynasty and the greatest builder in the
history of Egypt. The first couple of Pharaohs of the 19th
Dynasty spent most of their energy trying to rebuild the Kingdom
after the divisive religious reforms of Akhenaten who tried to
introduce a monotheism in the 18th Dynasty. Rameses II
continued that hard line to make Egypt great again, to fit the size
of his ego, cracking down on any attempt for social or religious
reform. He was taught by his father, Seti I, to brook no challenge to
his rule and never to forgive out of the fear that everything they
had worked to build might fall apart if they showed any weakness. He
was ruthless and was called “the Great” because of his power in
the utter destruction of his enemies and what he was able to
accomplish. He was a massive builder, building temples to himself all
over the place, especially Abu Simbel which took 20 years to build,
but he did have this habit of ripping the names on previous Pharaohs’
monuments off and placing his own name on it as well. The Greek name
for Rameses was Ozymandias, the name that Shelley used in his poem
when he spoke of the arrogance of power that leads to destruction:
“Look on my works ye mighty and despair!”
The historical Rameses II,
the Great, died an old man, but his identification with the Exodus
Pharaoh lives on. That Pharaoh spent all of his energy to control
others, heaping burdens on the people to build more monuments to his
pride and refusing to let no slight go unpunished. He could not
forgive the Hebrew people because they would not bow down to him; he
could not forgive them for who they were not - they were not
compliant slaves to his own ego. He is so obsessed that he cannot see
where he is going and cannot appreciate the angel of the God being
present in the pillar of fire and cloud. His refusal to let things
go, or to admit that there was a power greater than himself, will
lead him to drive his army into the sea and be destroyed. The refusal
to forgive leads to our own destruction as we sink into our hatred
and drown in our contempt of others. The Hebrew people have told this
story for thousands of years so that they would be reminded of the
folly of hubris and to pray that the Lord might remove that
temptation from us “as far as the east is from the west”.
Forgiveness is an act of
love and an antidote to fear. The Christian is asked to die to his or
her ego and give forgiveness freely, even before they are asked,
before it is deserved, and before the hate brews in our hearts.
Before the sun, which rises in the east and sets in the west, sets
today is there anyone you need to forgive?
Forgiving
Before Asked
I walk
the blocks to meet people,
seeing
neighbors or vacationers
in this
town lacking high steeple
that
might offend some seculars.
I’m
not wearing my clerical collar,
as if I
were off duty from blessing;
but
smile benedictions, not holler,
a
blessing, without their guessing.
My own
blessings can’t make holy,
for I
only see what’s already there,
so we
all might dance a life wholly
hearing
echo of Word making air,
forgiving
them of what they’re not,
before
they ask, I’ll pray a thanks,
for
images of God being wrought,
as
God’s love between us camps.
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