When Shadows Like Fog Creep In

A Reflection for the Feast of Christ the King                  All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, N.C.     November 23, 2014                                                            Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Ezekiel 34:11-16, 20-24                 Psalm 100            Ephesians 1:15-23            Matthew 25:31-46

When Shadows Like Fog Creep In

I am going out on a limb and suggest that I am probably not the only one here who has ever felt sorry for himself. It is a natural thing that we do when we feel so bad that we silently start to sing the children’s song, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m going to the garden and eat some worms.” 

That sadness will last for a while and then it will change into thoughts of revenge to make me feel better. That revenge doesn’t have to be taken immediately, indeed as the old saying goes, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” I went to my 50^th high school reunion a couple of months ago, and I wanted to run into an old girl friend who had dumped me right after the Junior Prom. There was still a small memory - and by “small” I mean that the memory was small and I was small for even holding on to it - but my small fantasy was to show her what she had missed out on, and “Boy”, I thought, “Will she be sorry!” Well, she was there and she was sweet, and the river had flowed past 51 Junior Proms and I didn’t have to eat worms or have revenge.

Everybody has thoughts of revenge when feeling bad about one’s self. The 3^rd Century Desert Monk, St. Antony, once said to one of his disciples, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your beard.”

I looked at the Hebrew Testament lesson from Ezekiel and at the Gospel lesson from Matthew, and as I, in my imagination, talked with Ezekiel and Matthew, I thought I heard some revenge fantasy and worm-eating going on. 

Ezekiel was a Priest in Jerusalem in 593 BC and saw the abuses of the rich elites who continued to exploit the poor even while paying tribute to Babylon. Some of the rich decided to try to ally themselves with Egypt and get a better deal with the Pharaoh to exploit the poor more. This ticked the Babylonian ruler, Nebuchadnezzar, off and in 587, the Babylonians conquered the Kingdom of Judah and destroyed the Temple in Jerusalem, taking the leaders of the people, which included Ezekiel, into exile to Babylon.  He ministered to his people there and had a series of visions and dreams which are contained in this book. Chapters 1 through 24 are visions and dreams he had while still in Jerusalem and, in these dreams and visions, there are a lot of things that come close to “worm-eating”. Chapters 33 through 48 are visions and dreams which he had about the restoration of the exiles to their home and union with God. The vision described for today has to do with his hope for the people being returned out of exile and his hopes for the vengeful judgment on the former elite rulers who got them into this position of exile. He gets over the revenge fantasy and, a couple chapters later, has a vision about how will take the valley of dry bones and bring a new life with God - and in this new life, there is no room for revenge.

In Matthew’s Gospel from Chapter 21 through 25, Jesus is in the last week of his teaching ministry in Jerusalem, and it is apparent that his ministry has been gathering enemies. I think Jesus might have been tempted to say, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I will go to the Garden of Gethsemane and eat some worms.”  Our theology tells us that besides being fully God, Jesus is also fully human, and as a human has some natural thoughts about vengeful judgments flying into his head and coming into his teaching. Today is one of those “good sheep and bad goats” kind of moments. Beginning in chapter 26, he will experience the last supper, his betrayal, and crucifixion where, on the cross, he cries out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” and enters fully into human despair. He dies on the cross and is placed into the tomb where his enemies think that he will be eaten by worms. However, in Chapter 28, there is resurrection and he does not waste time proclaiming vengeful judgment, for there is no room for vengeance in new life.  

Vengeance and self-pity are parts of living in this broken world of humans; we all have these moments in the dark side of our very selves. Now, what do we do with the dark sides of ourselves? One thing we can do is lie to ourselves and make the darkness acceptable and call it something that it is not. Our “worm-eating” is mislabeled as “shyness” or “humbleness”, and our “vengefulness” is mislabeled as “a passion for justice” or “dedicated to law and order”. Another option is that we can pretend these dark shadows aren’t here inside us, and we achieve that by projecting these dark sides onto other people. We can sure spot the darkness in others, and we say things like, “I just hate judgmental people and God will make them pay for being judgmental.” Or, “I just can’t stand being around whinny people; they just ruin my day.” 

Truthfully claiming our shadows for that which they are and that they are ours is a spiritual journey of healing, for if we do not claim and lovingly come to terms with our shadows, our fear of them will gradually control our lives. We will live as one-dimensional people, and the shadows will jump up in worse form when we least expect them. One of the reasons I do dream work is that dreams help us come to terms with our shadows and understand how they are influencing us.  Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Monk, in one of his daily Meditations last week wrote about how Francis of Assisi was able to claim his own shadow in order reach out to others: “After his major conversion, which is where he embraced a leper whom he had previously avoided as nauseating, Francis identified with the poor, the marginalized and those on the bottom, which you normally cannot do until you embrace the wounded leper within yourself.”

Next Sunday we begin the season of Advent.  As we prepare for the coming of God’s love in human flesh, let us take into ourselves and claim all, every part, of our very selves for healing, so we can live into what we believe.

This is what I believe:

·        I believe in the words of the last verse of the Psalm for today: “For the LORD is good; God’s mercy is everlasting; and God’s faithfulness endures from age to age.”

·        I believe in a God of justice who calls us to care for the oppressed and disadvantaged and gives us the power to do so.

·        I believe in a God of love, an unlimited God who keeps calling us to return to relationship with God and neighbor.

·        I believe that people do horrible things to other people and that God calls us to repent for what we have done.

·        I believe in the symbol of “sheep and goats”, that they both exist within me, and that God’s love is not limited to the sheep.

·        I believe that God’s love is not limited by our response and God will continue to call us to union with God in this life and the next.

·        I believe that we can create hells out of our own lives and live only one-dimensional lives.

·        I believe that Christ’s love will overcome all obstacles and that sin cannot stand against that love.

·        I believe in Hell; but, in light of Christ’s love, I believe there is nobody there.

When Shadows Like Fog Creep In (poem)

Shadows bird-like sweep in

Stubbornly building nests

For hells of our own makings

Judging ourselves and others.

Stubbornly guilt-ing nests

Resisting moments of mercy

Judging ourselves and others

Saying “It serves them (us?) right”.

Resisting moments of mercy,

But what is good about being right,

Saying “It serves them (us?) right”,

If all we do is condemn each other?

But what is good about being right

For hells of our own nesting

If all we do is condemn each other,

When shadows bird-like sweep in?

The Summons

A Reflection for XXIII Pentecost (Proper 28)           All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, NC November 16, 2014                                                            Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Judges 4:1-7                1 Thessalonians 5:1-11                        Matthew 25:14-30

“The Summons”

One of the things I like about preaching on the Lectionary is that every three years I come back to the same lessons and it is like I meet old friends and discover how they  have changed since I last saw them. Obviously their words have not changed but I have, and I get different insights and surprises.

In the lesson from the Book of Judges for today, three of the judges are mentioned, and I am again aware of how God uses all sorts of people. The Book of Judges is a collection of hero stories that are passed down by the various tribes of Israel. These hero stories are set after the time of Joshua, which we looked at last week, when the tribes co-existed in a loose confederation in the Promised Land and pretty much went their own way until they were united by the Kingdoms of Saul and David. This collection of stories was probably first put into written form during the time of the Babylonian exile to remind the exiles that they need to stick together to keep from losing their identity.

Deborah, Judge of Israel under Deborah's Palm

The stories follow a cyclical pattern which begins with the people getting sloppy and ceasing to listen, forgetting their relationship with God. Their failure to maintain their community’s spirit allows them to be dominated by one of the neighboring countries that oppress them. A hero is called forward by the Spirit of God who liberates the people, and then after the Judge dies, the people go back to their old ways.  Judges, in the Book of Judges, are people who listen for God and are open to receive the Spirit of God. There are 12 Judges in this book, from Gideon to Samson. The Judges like Ehud and Barak mentioned in this lesson are people who hear God’s call to rise up against the oppressors of the people and lead the people, or they are like Deborah, a person noted for wisdom and discernment. People come to her to lay out their cases against each other and she listens to God and determines what the resolution will be.

This particular story comes at the end of the Ehud story, and the thing about Ehud is that he is called ‘Ehud – the Left-Handed”. Being left-handed, there is a trick he is able to pull – he is able to kill Elgon, the King of the Moabites, who is oppressing the people. As you know, left-handed people are only about 10% of the population, and they find it more difficult to fit in a society that is dominated by right-handed folk; they are often seen as abnormal. While the story is a nice gory tale, it is interesting to note that God seems to pick the most unlikely people to use to make a point.  In the same way, it is unusual to see Deborah as God’s vessel to lay out military plans in a society in which women were not usually taken seriously. I think one of the messages of the Book of Judges is to remind the stories’ listeners that God uses all sorts of folk to be leaders. Their leadership is not about who they are but about how God uses them, even people who the society looks down upon. God is the Judge behind all of the Judges, and this is a theme throughout the entire Bible - that there is no greater Judge than God. It is a lesson we need to keep learning as we elect leaders in this country - for there is a higher law than the Constitution, a greater Judge than the Supreme Court.

The other surprise in the Gospel lesson was about the talents, and this was the first time I noticed the line the third slave says: “`Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.” I started to wonder what kind of man reaps what he does not sow and gathers what he does scatter? What kind of man takes things that belongs to another? And it came to me; he is a criminal. He heads up a criminal enterprise and he has to get out of town for a little while because the heat is building up. He is a gangster, and I noticed the financial advice the gangster gives the third slave about investing the one talent with money lenders to get interest.  Jewish law forbade the charging of interest; the Hebrew word for interest comes from their word “to bite”, and therefore the advice was to invest it with a criminal loan shark and take advantage of someone who is down on his luck. The story does not say how the first two doubled their money, but it makes sense that, since they worked for a criminal, they probably engaged in their own criminal enterprise. I started to see the story as a gangster story of an organization like the Yakuza or Mafia. I don’t think Jesus is telling a story about God as much as he is talking about the “Godfathers” of our cultures. I can visualize the three coming to the Godfather after he got out of jail to pick up the reins again of this criminal enterprise and kissing the boss’ ring and saying something like: “Hey Boss, I took your five talents…”  (now a Talent is roughly equivalent to 71 pounds of silver, or the wages  of a skilled worker for nine years and so five Talents would equate to wages for 45 years – imagine, therefore, every penny you ever made in your working life) “… I took your five Talents and bought a supply of heroin and doubled your money. How about them smackers?” The Boss would say, “Oh Charlie, Charlie, you are a good gang member. Let me give you a bigger territory.” He also rewards the second, who invested in a chain of brothels, but he changes his tune with the last slave and orders cement shoes for this one who wasn’t harsh enough, and that slave of the one talent “sleeps with the fishes.”

If we take this story to be literally about God, then God is a monster, and we who are faithful can become monsters in that divine pattern. We have seen throughout history how people have taken the God of love and used that God as a foil, a God-father, for all sorts of monstrous activities. Last week we celebrated Veterans Day on the anniversary of the end of that horrible conflict which started 100 years ago in 1914. It was that War that galvanized theologian Karl Barth as many of his teachers in Seminary signed on to support German War aims in World War I, and Barth reexamined how culture used religion for its own purposes. It was that War where Russian Orthodox Priests and Bishops joined with the leaders of English and French churches to support the slaughter that would last for four bloody years and whose main purpose was national pride as both sides saw the war as supporting their culture. The total number of military and civilian casualties in World War I was over 37 million, over 16 million deaths and 20 million wounded. One third of the deaths were from disease and malnutrition made worse by the war. We were slow to learn, for the end of World War I carried the seeds of World War II where estimates of the dead numbered from 60 to 85 million. War is not a political issue; it is, at its core, a spiritual issue. Barth wrote: "To clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world."

I think the question that Jesus posed to his listeners is “What kind of “Boss” of our life do we follow?”  If the “Boss” of our life is a harsh boss who takes what belongs to others to enrich himself, then we will pattern our lives after that “Boss”, and the final question, the bottom line will be “Did you take more from others than you were given by me?”  However, if our Boss is about the business of love, then the important question at the end of our time of serving our boss will be “Did you give more to others than you received from me?”

I think that both the lessons are about how God is speaking all the time, speaking about who God is and inviting us to follow God to help lift people out of oppression. I think the first lesson for today is that God uses all sorts and conditions of people, even you and me.  So are you and I listening to God and responding to what God invites us to do? I think the second lesson asks us to ask ourselves who is this God in whose image we are made and how are we “good and faithful servants” of that God? 

Parker Palmer wrote a version of the Lord’s Prayer:

Heavenly Father, heavenly Mother,
Holy and blessed is your true name.
We pray for your reign of peace to come,
We pray that your good will be done,
Let heaven and earth become one.
Give us this day the bread we need,
Give it to those who have none.
Let forgiveness flow like a river between us,
From each one to each one.
Lead us to holy innocence
Beyond the evil of our days —
Come swiftly Mother, Father, come.
For yours is the power and the glory and the mercy:
Forever your name is All in One.

This a Haiku I wrote to help me go deeper in meditation than what I wrote

The Summons

Coming to Palm shade

Hearing sighs and murmuring

God’s breath spirit call.

As For Me and My Family

A Reflection for XXII Pentecost (Proper 27)                        All Saints’ Episcopal, Southern Shores, N.C. November 9, 2014                                                            Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Joshua 24:1-3a, 14-25                   Psalm 78:1-7             1 Thessalonians 4:13-18              Matthew 25:1-13
As For Me and My Family

The Hebrew Testament lesson for today is from the book of Joshua. This book was probably written in the 6^th Century BC, about six hundred years after the events described. It was compiled by people in exile in Babylon who were hoping to one day return to the Promised Land. The editors took the old oral stories and tried to make a coherent narrative. The purpose of the Book of Joshua was not to tell a literal history; rather, it was to tell the old stories with the point of showing that, each step of the way, the forebears of the people had learned to trust that God was with them no matter how bad it looked. For the people in exile it looked really bad, but the message of the book is, “We got out of worse situations and God was with us; therefore we need to put away all the gods we have and worship the One God who has been with us each and every day. This one God will always give us the strength to redeem good out of evil.”

Chagall's Joshua at the Rock of Shechem

The people in exile needed to hear that message because they were in danger of losing their special identity by being merged into the Babylonian culture and into other groups of exiles from other conquered nations. Each day they would need to echo the words of Joshua - that it did not matter what others chose to do but, as for them and their family, they would worship the LORD. In good times or evil times, they would continue to serve God. The Jewish people over the last several thousand years have had many reasons to return to this book and ask how God could possibly ever redeem the evil that they had just experienced. 

Over twenty years ago I was studying at St. George’s College in Jerusalem, and one day a group of us went to the West Bank where we visited a refugee camp and talked with Arab refugee families and listened to their tales of exploitation by Israel. Then we went to a Jewish West Bank settlement in occupied Palestine. The Jewish settlements are enclaves of settlements by Jewish immigrants from Russia or the United States in the Occupied Territories of the West Bank and Gaza. The immigrants were settled in confiscated land in strategic high points on hills to control the valleys dominated by those hills. The compounds are like outpost fortresses of control and truly gated communities with fences, walls, and armed guards protecting the perimeter.   When we got past the guards, we were able to talk with representatives of the settlement, and we listened to them as they explained what they were doing there. One of the men kept going back to the Book of Joshua, saying that God had promised this land to the Jewish people and they were part of claiming the whole of the Promised Land. He saw himself as a modern Joshua - “As for him and his family, they would serve the LORD.”

I don’t agree with the settlement system for I see it as a barrier to peace, and for years I dismissed the man as a religious fanatic.  When I would read the Bible, I would skip Joshua because I did not like all that violence. However, I am so impressed by that man’s dedication to put all other gods to one side and to serve what he saw as the LORD’s command. His commitment was such that each day was a day that he had to be ready. Each day was the whole point of his life.

In the same way, in the selection from Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica, he instructs them to stay awake for the return of Jesus. They were starting to lose heart, for years had passed since Paul had told them that Jesus was coming back; they were in danger of losing their hope that there was a greater point to their lives than just slogging through the day. Paul reminds them that the fullness of the Risen Christ is indeed coming at the end of time, but they were also to see that self-same Spirit in their daily lives together. They had to stay alert in their hope. Their commitment was such that each day is a day that they had to be ready. Each day is the whole point of their lives. In the same way, the ten virgins in the parable remembered in Matthew’s Gospel lesson for today frames a message that we all need to be awake to see God in every moment of every day.

When I did my prayerful encounter, like I would with my dream work, and had conversation with Joshua in preparation for today, I asked Joshua about the other gods I needed to put away in order to worship God. I don’t mean the little figures from other religions. A god is not a religion, but a god is what I, or you, put our trust in; hence the word “Worship” which comes from the Old English “weorthscipe”, that which we give worth. My other gods look a lot like me when I believe lies that are almost true. For example, there is a lie that I believe a lot of the time and it takes me down a lot of dead ends. That lie is “My worth is dependent on my performance.” While it is indeed good to do one’s best, the lie is that I put my trust in what I can do and if I fail or disappoint myself, then I start seeing myself as “worthless”.  Another lie I live into is “My worth is determined by the opinion of others, and if they don’t think well of me, than I think that I am worthless.” While it is true that we need to get along with others, we don’t need to sell ourselves out for the approval of others.  Another lie is “I must be in control, and if I am not in control, I am worthless.” While it is important to have some control over things, the serenity prayer is needed at this point. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, just for today.”

It is when my little gods, those I have given worth to, have failed that I can put them away. Jesus ended his life an economic failure, a professional failure, despised by the people, and chose to have no power to control people, but we give him worth because God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Godself. It is then that I can see that my worth is not in what I do but in the love of the God who made me in her/his image. My worth is based on God’s love for me. In the eyes of God, each of us - no matter our performance or approval of others or control -  is counted as of infinite worth.

How about your gods? Are you ready to face and put away all your other gods and echo Joshua by saying: “As for me and my family we will serve the LORD.”

“As For Me and My Family”

Joshua said when we talked, that

He and family would serve the LORD.

Suggesting I put away those other gods,

Failing gods in whom I ship worth.

He and family would serve the LORD

Not grasping what they had or done.

Nor hoarding the opinions of others,

 Nor failing gods in whom I ship worth.

Without grasping what I have or done,

Today help me to place trust,

Not hoarding the opinions of others,

Nor leaving non-controlling serenity behind.

Today help me to place trust,

Putting away those other gods,

Not leaving non-controlling serenity behind.

As Joshua suggested when we talked.

Jerry Stott

A Homily for the Occasion of a Celebration of Life for Jerry Stott.         November 4, 2014     Thomas E Wilson, Rector of All Saints’ Episcopal Church, Southern Shores, NC.

Revelation 7:9-17        Psalm 23          John 14:1-6

Jerry Stott

There were a lot of losses this week. The University of Virginia football team went down in defeat, again, as did the Washington Redskins, yet again. There was no greater fan than Jerry Stott of the Redskins or UVA be it basketball, football, baseball or soccer, and the way Bill tells it, if there had been a UVA tractor pull match, she would have cheering them on. They still tell the stories of when the UVA Basketball team was in the NCAA tournament out on the West Coast, and she went out until 2:00 in the morning for a party to watch the game. She would have hated to see those losses for she was loyal to those she loved.  Even when they disappointed her, she remained loyal. She would have been sad, but she would have said “there is a game next week”, or “wait until next season”.  There will be another game, another season, but Jerry’s voice will no longer be heard in support, and UVA has lost their best fan.

The All Saints’ Choir and the Outer Banks music scene have lost a voice that sang the descants and carried the songs. She could be counted on to hold the rest of her fellow musicians to a higher standard and to sing out of the soul of the music. She loved music, and if we had been able to play all the music and sing all the songs and anthems and solos she wanted, we would be doing a marathon of song for several weeks. There will be other members of the choir that will take her seat, but none will take her place. We have lost this splendid talent.

Her family has sustained the great loss of this passionate person who could give as well as she could take. There will be other meals and other gatherings, but there will be a place missing in the give and take of opinions and love.

Jerry was so well organized that she could bring order out of chaos. She used to work in business and in her first year, through her organization and planning, she saved the office the equivalent of her yearly salary. She will be missed by her clients who would bring all their tax stuff to her. I remember last year in the months before tax time, she was so sick that I thought we would need to plan for a funeral soon. I told her that she needed to take it easy, but she told me that her friends - for her clients were seen as friends that she was helping out - her friends needed her, and she got to work helping them. Someone else will get those clients, but they have lost a friend.

After years of fighting cancer, Jerry’s body let her down. Cancer killed her body but not her life. We as Christians have a belief that there is an energy which continues on a deeper level of life. What that level of life looks like I do not have the wit or the words to describe, but I have seen glimpses and heard snatches of that deeper and higher level as people gather together to sing. That lesson from Revelation to John for today has the angels, elders, and living creatures casting down their crowns and singing: “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen."

This is John’s dream and dreams always speak in symbols. To cast down crowns or fall on their faces is a way of saying that they have emptied themselves out of their own sense of importance and give themselves fully to sing the music of the heavens, the praise of the one they love. I have heard this heavenly choir sing when our earthly choirs forget about the idea of the strutting of their own egos in performance for their own glory and begin to empty themselves out in love for the power greater than themselves by singing God’s song. God’s song is not about the notes we are able to hit but about the space between the notes that are filled with the sacred presence of God. I have heard Jerry sing that way, all that energy of her soul singing in worship. St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel and if necessary use words.”  Jerry’s soul sang the Gospel and when necessary she used musical notes

.

That is what I think about when Jesus says that are the many places that have been prepared for us. My vision of this next life is all of this energy that has been freed from our bodies bursting together in one song, each voice of energy adding their own unique tone and complexion to this cosmic masterpiece of music in this world and the next.

All of us will miss Jerry and we have all lost a great deal, but if you wish to have mercy on the world’s, and your own, grief, here are some options. (1) Sing with a group of people and don’t worry about being the star.  Empty yourself out of your ego and enter the sacred space between you and your neighbor where you honor each other and God and let the inner music of God connect you before and after you sing. After all, singing is nothing more than breathing with attention to the sound that your soul makes. (2) Or if you are like me and get self-conscious about your singing talent, get into the shower and passionately bellow your joy in knowing a person like Jerry.  (3) Work with others to help bring order out of chaos in order to help those who are swamped with the difficulty of daily life.  (4) Be passionately supportive of the ones you love even when they disappoint you. And (5) Keep on fighting, keep on partying, and keep on trusting the song that God is singing in you until it is time for you to go to join a larger choir on a different shore - but with the same song.