Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover?

A Reflection and Poem for September 1, 2024                St. Luke's, Roper and Grace Church, Plymouth

15^th Sunday after Pentecost                                             Thomas E Wilson Guest Celebrant

Song of Solomon 2:8-13        Psalm 45:1-2, 7-10             James 1:17-27          Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23

Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover?

On May the 26^th, Jim, my sister Anne's husband, died after he had a hard illness, During his illness I had prayed for both Jim and my sister using standard ChristianTheological language and understanding of prayer. He grew up a Presbyterian, he married an Episcopalian, His sister and I were both Episcopal Priests. However, organized religion had lost meaning for him and he did not want a religious funeral and we respected his wishes. However, Irene, one of his daughters, who is a Buddhist, thought we should do a Buddhist ceremony of Thanksgiving for his life and for strength for his family in living the days ahead.

Fourteen months before, my own wife, Pat, died and the family had come to give me strength and to share their love. Eight days ago, I joined the family for Jim's service. One of the things I found out was, if you are an old man like me and when you attend a service at a temple and a very kind person, like the Rev. Shaun Song, rushes up and offers you a chair out of care for a visitor; take the chair.

While I hate to admit that I am really an old man, I went into denial and I made the excuse to myself that I wanted to show that I honored their traditions and so I proudly sat on cross legged on a pillow on the floor. So far so good. It is a quiet service with some chanting, and meditation. There is a moment when we are invited to come up, face Jim's picture and say a blessing or thanksgiving to him. You know the old proverb, “Pride goeth before a fall”? I was invited to come up and when I got up, I realized that my legs didn't feel any substance below my knee caps because of my attempt to deny reality, and I staggered backwards and fell down on the floor. It was not the most graceful way of my coming forward to thank Jim for loving my sister. My advice holds; if they offer you a chair; take the chair!

The Rev. WonGong So, the Buddhist Priest and dharma teacher, leading the service tried to help me in my humiliation. She was kind and loving to me and the family. She is the kind of person I would look for as a Priest for me. Her gentle and wise manner reminds me of a saying of the Buddha:‘Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.’

Let us start off at the beginning. Christianity and Buddhism are different, in that in Buddhism there is no God. No supreme being in charge of the Universe. Christianity believes in a Supreme Being which created the universe, and we believe in a Christ event that redefined our understanding of God, and in a Holy Spirit which guides our lives surrounding us with Grace. But, as a Hindu believer, Mahatma Gandhi warned us western Christians about our faith: “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” Frederick W. Schmidt, an Episcopal Priest writes about the need for faith growing out of belief : “I am not talking about some kind of soft social consciousness, never mind a body of political beliefs. Instead, I am referring to the capacity to look at the world around us through the eyes of God.”

As Grant Ethan writes:

Buddhism is a religion and philosophy that originated in India and spread throughout Asia. Unlike other major world religions, Buddhism does not have just one god, but rather includes a wide array of divine beings that are venerated in various ritual and popular contexts.

These beings are known as devas, asuras, yakshas, and nats.

According to Buddhist teachings, gods are not considered to be eternal and all-powerful beings. They are believed to be subject to the same laws of impermanence and suffering as all other beings.

In fact, the Buddha himself discouraged his followers from becoming too attached to the gods or seeking their help in achieving enlightenment.

The concept of God as the one and only supreme being, and not just one god among many, was just coming into acceptance among Jewish scholars about the time the Buddha was born. This God concept may not have ever reached him.”

Buddhism and Christianity are similar in that both urge us not to be concerned with our own ego. Both are about forming a relationship with a deeper dimension. Both are about loving yourself and others; about forgiving self and others, about caring for one's neighbor, about not being seduced with the outward temptations of prestige, wealth and social standing, about serving others and not ruling others. Both Buddhists and Christians hold onto the deeper truth in the verses in today's Psalm 15:

Whoever leads a blameless life and does what is right, *
who speaks the truth from his heart.

There is no guile upon his tongue;
he does no evil to his friend; *
he does not heap contempt upon his neighbor.

Buddhists and Christians would understand the verses of the Song of Solomon for today:

"Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away;

for now the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.

The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.

The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away."

The Buddhist and the Christian can claim common ground on the message from the Epistle of James for today;

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God's righteousness. Therefore rid yourselves of all sordidness and rank growth of wickedness, and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls.

But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act-they will be blessed in their doing.

If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless. (Faith) . . . is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

No Buddhist would object to the lines from the Gospel for today:

For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

I see the Gospel message lived out in my niece Irene that she put into deeper practice when she became involved in the Buddhist temple. She gave a talk there about how she was learning how to stop her inner chatter of what she “should do” and live into her name ,“Irene” which means peace. I envied her not wasting more years of her life. I was older than her when I learned to stop 'Should-ing all over myself.”

One of things I learned many years before is help people grow deeper into faith and not necessarily into being Episcopalians. I used to do volunteer work in Alcohol and Drag Abuse Treatment programs. Step 2 in the 12 step treatment programs is “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Step 11 is “Sought through meditation and prayer to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

I can say of the Rev. WonGong, she did not try to convert me; she ministered to me with her wisdom. She and I have started an exchange of notes as I was writing this reflection and poem. She always ends with the wish “Palms Together” letting me know she is praying for wisdom and peace for me. Her wish in one message was of encouragement: “I am sure there will be lots of joy in uncovering the wisdom within and all around you in the spirit of God.”

I would like to pass on her wisdom and Peace to you Episcopalians. While I would like you to go out in your neighborhoods and bring in new people into the congregations; your more important job, like the Good Samaritan, is to minister to your neighbor. You are not on this earth to approve of people; you are here, like she is, to honor others with your care, to help them into a deeper life. A Spiritual life is not nourished by looking into a mirror, but by seeing oneself reflected in a neighbor's eyes.

Faith: Disciplinarian or Lover

Walking in the door, seeing that they are different:

we'll focus on points in which we are not the same,

reassured our faith has a different shape and name

from each other, and we'll agree to be considerate.

Honoring one another's view of the same mystery,

which can't be reduced to the level of many phrases

strung together. Rather we sing each other's praises,

for attempting to live into a different loving history.

We struggle for centuries of living purposeful faith,

hoping for insight for one meaningful day at a time,

as we faithfully on this mountain of meaning climb,

for to hear what old ancestors said prophets “sayeth”.

It's a different day, when we'll not say we're right,

but we'll stop to see a fellow traveler in our sight.

Not Walking Alone

 

A Reflection and Poem for Pentecost Proper 16 B                            St. Luke's, Roper and Grace, Plymouth

August 25, 2024                                                                                Thomas E. Wilson, Guest Preacher

1 Kings 8:[1, 6, 10-11], 22-30, 41-43      Psalm 84       Ephesians 6:10-20      John 6:56-69

Not Walking Alone

From John's Gospel for today: “Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him. So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

The disciples are of two camps; those who can live with mystery that they cannot fully understand and those who decide they cannot live comfortably mystery; that which is beyond their control or understanding. Poet Mary Oliver wrote a poem of living with mystery:

Mysteries, Yes
Mary Oliver

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
   to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the
   mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
   in allegiance with gravity
      while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds will
   never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
   scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.

Let me keep my distance, always, from those
   who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
   and bow their heads.

The disciples who left Jesus did not understand who Jesus was. They had thought he was a religious man who had the opportunity to become a political leader and could be a leader to changing the government and the corrupt religious establishment. That was their hope, but he was not there to fulfill their hopes for a return to the past; he wanted them to change. He wanted them to look to the unknown future and know that the Spirit of the Risen Christ would be walking with them each step of their lives, even if Jesus would not be there in bodily form; they would never have to face the future alone

Gothic Horror author H.P Lovecraft observed, "The oldest and strongest emotion of (hu)mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." The disciples who left were afraid of the unknown future and so they walked away alone.

This last week I went to a series of concerts, these were the 10^th Anniversary of the Annual Surf and Sounds Chamber Music Series, sponsored by the Don and Catherine Bryan Cultural Series. I had done Hospice Ministry with Don and Catherine as they died, and since Don was an artist, he wanted to set up an endowment to keep the arts alive. It has been my pleasure to attend the annual series and in the beginning they were held at the church in which I was the Rector. My wife, Pat, and I got to know members of the Quartets and Quintets and one of the high points of our year was to attend and have a meal with them. Pat loved to attend and catch up with the artists. This was to be the first time I would attend without Pat and I felt so incredibly alone.

This year was also different because a young man, Tshombe Selby, who grew up in the Outer Banks was to be a special guest to sing with the quintet.. Tshombe performs with the Metropolitan Opera in New York City, but he brought in a whole range of types of music. The artistic highpoint was Ralph Vaughan Williams' settings for parts of A.E. Houseman's A Shropshire Lad. Breathtaking! Then I was caught with him singing:

XVIII
        
Oh, when I was in love with you,
         Then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew
         How well did I behave.
        
And now the fancy passes by,
         And nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that I
         Am quite myself again.

The theme of that poem is that his beloved has passed him by. I thought of how Pat was not with me anymore and I was far from being myself again. I longed for the past; when I needed to live fully in the present and move into a new future. Much later Tshombe sang two popular songs which really caught me, for they caught me where I was, off-balance, and they were about going deeper into the present moment to gather strength in having to face the future alone.

One of the songs he sang that night, accompanied by the Quintet, was, “You' ll Never Walk Alone”, a Rogers and Hammerstein's song from the Broadway Musical, Carousel, based on the play Liliom , of a carnival roustabout who dies and is allowed to come back in spirit to provide comfort to his widow and his daughter. The musical opened in New York City in 1945 during the last months of war on the German battlefields. Lots of brave men were dying and their wives and families were needing hope as they feared the telegram which might come from the War Department. This song was for those who faced an unknown future where they may have to walk on alone after they had known of what Mary Oliver was to write decades later, “How two hands touch and the bonds will/ never be broken.”

I have heard that song dozens of times sung by different people from Claramae Turner in the movie version and Shirley Jones and others singing it at the end of the movie. Outside the movie, there were so many others from Elvis Presley to Judy Garland , opera to country, rock to ballad, and so many people in between. You don't need to be a great singer to do justice to that song, but you have to have hope and love in your heart. The Liverpool England Football club's fans sing it before each match to pledge their loyalty with the team.

That evening I needed to hear that song. It was a gift to be reminded that while we cannot control the future, we are surrounded by God's love and we will never walk alone.

The other song that spoke to me about facing a future alone is the song “The Wind Beneath My Wings”, a song dealing about loss of a loved one and thankfulness about being able to go on alone by giving thanks for for the continued strength that was still available in the deepness of the relationship. I am one of those people who always aware that in the Christian tradition that the “Spirit of God”, the “Holy Spirit” is usually manifested in the “wind”, the breath from God. The last lines of the song are:“Thank you, thank you,/Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.”

The next night I went back to the concert which was held in the church I once served as an interim, partly because I still had work to do with the music that had given my soul light. I had to go back and find more grace to live with hope. Oh, and how we all responded. Time after time we jumped to our feet in admiration and applauded with our hands, throats and hearts. We were living in the last line of Mary Oliver's poem :

Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
   and bow their heads.

In the Episcopal Church service, we are called to leave our pews and exchange the Peace of God with each other as a preparation for being fed by the body and blood of our savior; later leaving the church building and doing the same with our neighbors. Hopefully doing it in the style as suggested by Mary Oliver: Let me keep company always with those who say
   “Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
    and bow their heads.

I am pretty sure that all members of this congregation has lived with loss in the present or the past, where the future looked daunting. Don't be afraid, for when we place our trust, one step at a time, one day at a time, in God's Holy Spirit, the Spirit of the Risen Christ he breathed on his disciples with God's spirit we will never walk alone and we will know the wind beneath our wings; as “How two hands touch and the bonds will/ never be broken.”

Not Walking Alone

Pat'll say; “You know, I love who you are!”

Lovers often say things to remind all of us,

we, as people of faith, we aren't hopeless,

for some strong family ties guide our star.

Now, I'm the oldest one who is still left,

who each day, has to wrap memories,

songs or any inspirational accessories,

together, tied up to give hope some heft.

Today my hope; I'll not be walking alone,

but surrounded by examples and stories

of those with faith of yesterday's glories,

so tomorrow, of acts I'll not need to atone.

Today, give me the strength to remember

your strength from January to December.

Often Visitor

A Reflection for August 18, 2024                   Grace Church, Plymouth, NC and St. Luke's, Roper, NC

15^th Sunday after Pentecost                           Thomas E Wilson, Guest Preacher and Celebrant

1 Kings 2:10-12; 3:3-14 Psalm 111 Ephesians 5:15-20 John 6:51-58

Often Visitor

Thank you for allowing me to be a visitor here again. I have come to you, time and time again – and I come as a person who does not have all the answers. I come as a person who is badgered by questions instead of answers. Last week, six days ago, was my wife's birthday; she was present in my heart, but fourteen months ago, she died. I was both thankful she had been so present in my life and at the same time, I was so empty because she was not with me to build new memories. I had to be content with glimpses of her spirit in my dreams and memories. I wrote a birthday poem about my love for her.

But, in dynamic tension, I had to pay attention to her absence. It reminded me of the Robert Frost poem “Acceptance” when he concludes by accepting;

Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be be.”

In the Hebrew Testament lesson for today, Solomon, King David's son grieving his father, the light of his life, has to come to grips that since his father died, the one from whom he expected all answers to come, was no longer available to provide the answers. God comes to him in a dream, and he talks with God. In his dream, God tells him that God will be with Solomon one day at a time. There is no 5 year plan, no Outline for the future, no perfect answers from the past; only the promise to walk with him one day at a time. It means that Solomon, like every King, or commoner, among us, with have to be listening each and every day to God's questions each and every new day.

If we read the paper, or watch the news, or live life more than half-aware; we see there are obscenities in life that we cannot come to grips with easily. We have so many questions, but we must listen to the deeper questions and provide tentative answers on day at a time. We understand there are so many things that are just outside our ability to fully understand. Victor Frankl, a Jewish Doctor and Psychotherapist posited that “meaning was the central motivational force in human beings.” He and his family were caught up in the obscenity of Hitler's Germany. He and his family were thrown into the insanity of the Concentration camps in 1942. He spent the next three years in four different concentration camps. His father died of starvation and pneumonia in the first, his mother and brother perished in the gas chambers, his wife died of Typhus in a third. He spent the rest of his life trying to make sense of living through that insanity. He wrote:

It is life that asks the questions, directs questions at us—we are the ones who are questioned! We are the ones who must answer, must give answers to the constant, hourly question of life, to the essential “life questions.” Living itself means nothing other than being questioned; our whole act of being is nothing more than responding to—of being responsible toward—life. With this mental standpoint nothing can scare us anymore, no future, no apparent lack of a future. Because now the present is everything as it holds the eternally new question of life for us. Now everything depends on what is expected of us. As to what awaits us in the future, we don’t need to know that any more than we are able to know it. (Victor Frankl, Yes To Life: In Spite of Everything, 33-34)

I visit with you but I do not know all the answers, I can only share with you the living one day at a time and having to depend on a power greater than our individual selves. Jesus said in today's Gospel lesson, the way forward is to each day eat of him, each day take the Spirit of the Living God into ourselves, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one millisecond at a time. We do not have all the answers, but we walk by faith, hopefully nourishing, one step at a time with God.

Carl Jung defined God, the daily bread we are offered every day, in this way:

"To this day, God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my willful path violently and recklessly, all things which upset my subjective views, plans and intentions then change the course of my life for better or worse.

"Without knowing it," he added. " man is always concerned with God. What some people call instinct or intuition is nothing other than God. God is the voice in side us which tells us what to do and what not lo do-in other words, our conscience."

Tom Ehrich, a retired Episcopal Priest, Writer and Consultant, who we used in one of the churches I served, writes a daily reflection to which I subscribe, read faithfully, and steal from shamelessly. His insights I have plundered, for I guess, more than three decades. Wednesday this week he wrote about being in Prayer with God:

Prayer doesn’t requite six hymns and every verse of every hymn in a relentless display of curated sound. Prayer can be sitting at the breakfast table and letting your head drop, your shoulders relax, your fists unclench, and let your mind be drawn to something outside yourself.   I think we tend to get in our own way, when all that God wants is to sit with us, weep with us, see the light shining through a drop of dew on a branch and not worry about figuring it out. (Tom Ehrich's Daily Meditation, August 14, 2024, Still, Small Voice)

I am your guest preacher today and when you leave this church building, I urge each of us, as Frankl mentioned, “we are the ones who are questioned by life”, to unclench your fists, go deeper than my words and take the spiritual body of Christ into each moment of your lives.

Often Visitor

Every church I enter is so full of fakes,

They're here for all the wrong reasons:

Like only coming if it's in good seasons,

Or sermons won't be about budget makes.

I know, because now I am one of those,

Who only want to come to again hear

Such things like I'm seen as one so dear,

Broken as I am, that I'm one God chose.

Chosen not because I am one really good,

Rather in spite of all my so many failings,

And numbers of times, bitterly in railings

Wanting to taste more sin as my daily food.

I show up because I am one of those fakes,

Who shows up often, praying love takes.

Pat Wilson's Birthday 2024

 

Pat Wilson's Birthday's 2024

Remembering you in the year you never knew.

Memories of those so many of the gifts I miss:

when I'd climb into bed, you'd give me a kiss,

wishing me good dreams to see with God's view.

Or, when I'd get up to make your coffee beverage

next morning, and you'd wake up to that smell

with a new day's joy of wonderful dreams to tell

each other, our dreams being a new day's leverage.

Or, when we would stand together at the door,

wishing each other the best of this gifted day,

knowing whatever morn held, we'd still pray

that all would be redeemed, blessing us more.

Or, when I would come home and we'd snuggle,

knowing our love would overcome any struggle.