Janet Harden "She is One of Us"

A Reflection on the Occasion of a Service of Thanksgiving for the

Life and Death of Janet Harden

All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, N.C.               November 14, 2015    Thomas E. Wilson 

Romans 8:14-19,34-35,37-39     Psalm 23        John 6:37-40 

She is One of Us 

I am indebted to a Richard Rohr daily blog post of earlier this week where he remembered a 1950 Albert Einstein letter to Robert Marcus, a man who had lost his young son to polio. Einstein wrote: 

“A human being is part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical illusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish the delusion but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of peace of mind."  

Janet Harden was an Episcopalian and she was faithful to the liturgy and worship in the Anglican tradition wherever she was - be it in California, In Italy, In Virginia, in North Carolina - or wherever she happened to be while she was working waiting for her next plane assignment. She was part of us at this church. There were moments of wonderful joy with her, and other moments in which, because of the progression of her disease, she was difficult to be around and times she found us difficult; but she was part of us. She joined with us in being guardians of our heritage of worship and of service to the community in which we find ourselves.  

She put in many hours of work to help the poor through Interfaith Community Outreach, the broken and homeless though Room in the Inn. I remember when we first talked about being hosts for Room in the Inn, Janet was beside herself in fear of all the strangers who might be wandering around at night since she lived right across the street from the church. That continued until she met the people, and then she joined in with the welcome as she saw that she was part of them as well as part of us. She was active in being a prayer partner in the Daughters of the King where she prayed for me and my work. There were times when she did not like me much, I don't think we can blame that solely on her disease, but she prayed for me because we were all connected to each other. She was a faithful member of the choir, even when her confusion came to the point that she could not sing, but she was there, in her way, until it became dangerous for her, as a member of the choir.  

Because of the obscenity of her disease there were bone-chilling moments of tantrums followed by moments of pure sweetness, but she was one of us. We are all gifts of God for each other; God gives the gifts, but God does not hand us a catalogue from which to choose the gifts we receive. As we say in the service “All things come from thee O Lord and of thine own have we given thee.” 

Whenever I think of Janet; I see cats - cats in her home, images of cats on her jewelry and clothes, cats - Dickens and Miss Charlotte in her conversation - always cats! Earlier I called her an Episcopalian, but she was more than that, as I think she was a closet Native American religionist. The Native Americans believed that we are all connected in one large spiritual being of nature, animals and humans all in the same river of energy. As part of the whole, humans were to discern the totem, the spirit of an animal, which would be incorporated with one’s own spirit. The spirit could be discerned through dreams and visions; for the Great Spirit was always speaking to those who listened. I think that Janet’s totem was a cat. She talked to the cats and shared some of their characteristics. 

Cats are careful around people.  Trust has to be earned and can be withdrawn at a moment notice. Cats are curious; wanting to know what is going on. Cats are highly intelligent. Cats have bursts of energy and then withdraw. Cats are ferociously independent. Cats need to be cuddled. Cats find freedom in the dark. Cats do not forgive easily and are more comfortable with boundaries.  

Janet loved to tell the stories of when she was a dedicated teacher, a Warden of the church she attended in Italy, and as a Flight Attendant and the way she was treated and the joy she found in being treated with respect as a person instead of an object. She also liked to relate when she was not treated with respect and how she got even, especially when she was a flight attendant perhaps with an almost accidental spill. She was a cat who could purr and who had claws. All and all, she was something.  And she was one of us.  

 She talked to her cats and listened to them. We need to talk to the animals as Chief Dan George reminded us:

One thing to remember is to talk to the animals. If you do, they will talk back to you. But if you don't talk to the animals, they won't talk back to you, then you won't understand, and when you don't understand you will fear and when you fear you will destroy ” 

We need to talk with each other and realize that we are all connected through the Great Spirit, which we in the Christian tradition call the love of God, the Spirit of the living Christ.  Jesus reminds us in the Gospel reading that it is the will of God that nothing given to Jesus will ever be lost. Janet is one of us in Christ.  Paul’s Letter to the Romans drives home that sense that we are all connected when he wrote: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Today we gather together to thank God for the gift of Janet and the fact that all the things that separated her from others in this life are now put to one side and she is set free from all illness to love and serve God forever. Our life together in this world and the next is to overcome delusions that we are ever separated from each other. It seems appropriate that we do a blessing and since we had an earlier quote from Chief Dan George:

May the stars carry your sadness away,
May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, 
May hope forever wipe away your tears, 
And, above all, may silence make you strong.