Friday, December 21, 2012

Reflections on being sick

This is a self portrait by Carravaggio of the Sick Bacchus and it fit perfectly how I felt.
File:Self-portrait as the Sick Bacchus by Caravaggio.jpgI have been playing with being sick for the last couple of days. I made a bunch of visits on Monday and on Tuesday morning as I staggered to workout I started to cough- a little. One of the people who uses one of the elliptical machines close to where I work out is undergoing chemo so I decided to cut back the visits because I may have been given a gift of a “bug” that I did not want to share with everyone else. I huddled in my office and coughed -a lot. By 2:00 in the afternoon I was hacking and went home for some rest. At the vestry meeting that evening I sat six feet away from the others and on my way home was a danger to myself and others in driving because of some over the counter medication. They really do mean it when they say we should not operte heavy machinery! I stayed home on Wednesday with no relief and then got drugs from a Dr's visit on Thursday. I think I am getting better and should be able to do the services on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

We only discover the weakness of our own humanity when our agendas are thwarted and we come to the limits of our strength. Left to my own strength I am a pitiable creatures and when I reach a dead end I realize I need a power greater than ourselves. It is appropriate it is December.

While the birth of Jesus probably did not happen in December- the shepherds would not have been in a field watching their flocks by night later than September – December or even January seems to fit that barren time when we need some incarnation. Yet incarnation is a spiritual event beyond merely an historical event in a land far away in a time long ago.

Bear with me, this is my segue into thinking about the symbol of the Incarnation for the coming Christmas Day, the Christmas Season, indeed for all seasons. We live into, and claim, Incarnation whenever we allow God's love to come into our lives- where the “word becomes flesh” and our flesh is filled with God's Holy Spirit. 

I love the Christmas pagents and all that, I tear up in nostalgia for the season, but I think I am able to really know the incarnation when I see the love and strength sharing among people when the services are not going on. When I see a family decide to try forgiveness instead of being right; that is incarnation. When I see a couple hold hands and breathe deeply of the breath of a power greater than themselves in order to get through the mess they made of their lives; that is incarnation. When a see a person stop thinking about the presents and starting living in the presence: that is incarnation.

I tend to see things as symbols and not mere signs; signs just point to something but symbol does not just point to something but it participates in that to which it refers. The Christ mass happens not only in churches but in homes, in shelters, in offices; wherever 2 or 3 are gathered together comiung to ask for strength to make it throught the day with integrity.

There is a prayer I have used for the last couple mornings, and I recommend it, from the Book of Common Prayer on page 461: In the Morning

This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring
forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I
am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still,
help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it
patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly.
Make these words more than words, and give me the Spirit
of Jesus. Amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment