Thanksgiving for Don Bryan

A Reflection for Thanksgiving Day All Saints’ Church, Southern Shores, NC November 28, 2013 Thomas E. Wilson, Rector

Deuteronomy 26:1-11 Psalm 100 Philippians 4:4-9 John 6:25-35

Today’s Epistle lesson is taken from Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi and urges them to couch everything in thanksgiving. This is the holiday called Thanksgiving Day; so what are you thankful for? Well, let’s start off with Paul’s advice on what to think about in thanksgiving:

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Are there people or things that come to mind? This coming Sunday, December 1, we have a concert coming up by the Simon String Quartet.

This sanctuary has the best acoustics for music, and I am thankful for hearing beautiful music wonderfully played. Yet I cannot just give thanks for the music concert alone. I have to think of the person who made this music program

possible - Don Bryan. Don died this last week, and he heads my list of people I am thankful for this year. Don knew how to love, which is an art not a science. The concert is sponsored by the Don and Catherine Bryan Cultural Series, which Don set up in thankfulness for the joy of the creative arts that he and Kay shared. Don lived his life not just feeling or talking about love but by doing love.

Don knew how to love. He loved his country, and when Pearl Harbor hit, he enlisted in the Army and ended up in the Army Air Corps in World War II where he was put to work as a gunner on a B-17. It was a new kind of war, and the America Air Corps had a lot to learn about strategic bombers. When Don started doing the daylight bombing of Germany, crews stood a less than even chance of returning. Much later as the tactics changed and longer range fighter escorts were developed, the odds improved, but it is estimated that over one third of the flight crews of B-17s did not survive the war.

Don was an artist, and there is this painting he did of a gunner looking out at the viewer, and you can see the apprehension in his eyes which show above the oxygen mask as the B-17 is being attacked. It was a memory self-portrait looking into his soul and the soul of every veteran, full of the horror of war. Don was not a war lover, yet because he loved his country, he did the full tour. However, he said that the next time would not be in such a vulnerable position, and so he qualified as a fighter pilot and served in the Korean and Vietnam conflicts, retiring as a full Colonel. Don was not “a summer soldier or sunshine patriot”, rather he loved the only way he could, by doing.

Forty years ago, after his 30 year hitch was up, he retired to a place he loved, Nags Head, where he and Kay would be able to slow down and he could paint. Nags Head was really a rugged place where people went to get away from it all. As the saying went, “It was not the end of the world but you could see it from there.” He loved Nags Head and he did not just feel or talk about that love, he worked to make it a place of honor. He served on many state and county commissions and committees of governance and served as Mayor of Nags Head for 13 years. The joke Don told was that the hardest part of moving into Spring Arbor was that he had to change his zip code from his beloved Nags Head to Kill Devil Hills. 

 

He moved into Spring Arbor because Don loved Catherine, his wife; it was a love not just of feeling or words but of actions. As Kay got more and more ill, Don changed his life by taking care of her. The hardest part of Don’s last illness was that he was physically separated from her and could not be there for her because, for Don, love was what you do.

Don loved art, the creative process, and did not waste time feeling or talking, but he set up the foundation as an outward and visible sign of his and Kay’s love for each other, in thanksgiving for their life together on these Outer Banks, and to encourage all sorts of arts. The foundation’s inaugural performance was a breathtaking piano concert. Subsequent events have included a performance of “An Evening with Thomas Jefferson”,

a lecture by the Historian David McCullough who was here researching his next book on the Wright Brothers and the beginnings of manned flight,

a workshop for veterans on writing as a means of healing the wounds of war led by the Poet Laureate of North Carolina,

now the Simon Quartet, and later a retrospective of Don’s paintings. Next year’s plans were being put together when Don died and will continue because of Don and Kay love for each other and their beloved Outer Banks. Love does not die, people do, but love continues.

There will be a service for Don on December 8^th and I have to be out of town, but he and Kay will be in my prayers. If you want to remember Don, make a donation to the Don & Catherine Bryan Cultural Series or the USO and share in Don’s love. If you really want to give thanks, then follow his example and love. Don’t just say it or just feel it, but do it.

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

... and do it.